Page 127 of All Our Secrets

“I stopped taking them last night after I took the pregnancy tests.”

“Good. There’s nothing more we can do but wait. I’ll call in your prenatal vitamins for you. Should I expect the father with you here next time?” When I said nothing, she added. “You got this, Momma.”

Faye probably thought the father was out of the picture. But how could I tell her the person I wanted to speak to the most had hurt me the deepest? That I was terrified he’d give up on me again when he found out?

______

Lying on my bed, I snuggled T.J. to my chest. He grunted as he raised his head, looking around.I had another baby growing inside me. The rippling fear rolling around in my stomach couldn’t be controlled. It wasn’t just Silas, but everyone in my life. Theodore’s parents. I was going to have to tell them I was pregnant just months after giving birth. Gerald couldn’t even look at me. And the way he spoke to Silas still replayed in my head.

“I always knew something about the way you watched Peyton wasn’t right.”

Gerald had seen all the things I wished for. As wicked as the thought was, it was the truth. Silas’s eyes on me were what I had yearned for, but I’d barely caught him doing it. But maybe Silas watched me too much. I hated that it pleased me, but the ugliness was out in the open. There was no need to deny myself.

“What are we going to do, T.J.?” I whispered, rubbing his back. “You’re going to be a big brother.”

My bedroom door slammed shut. Photos on the wall rattled against the wall, some thudding to the floor while others hung sideways. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest as I screamed, scaring T.J.

What?

Chapter Forty-Six:

no longer

Theodore

Time was nothing, just as I was. A specter.An observer.Sometimes, I was in my house, trying to communicate with my wife. Then, in a blink, I stood in a different room, alone. One second, it could be night, and in the next, the sun shone brightly through the curtains. Time became nothing and infinity all at once. There was no way to know how long I was there and when I wasn’t.

I was in the bathroom, staring at all the pregnancy tests in the trash, then I looked up, and I was in our bedroom. Peyton held our son on her chest. “You’re going to be a big brother.”

Awhat? No.

King had touched her,stolenher. Had his hands on her. My wife. The anger tore through me. I remembered… Her lingering outside the guest room door. She didn’t go in then, but he’d had her before that,hadn’t he?

Time was stolen from me. My body denied me. I was right there with her. And she couldn’t fucking see me, because all she saw was Silas King.

What a bitch it was to be dead. The fury and unfairness of my situation poured out of me as I shouted. “Peyton!” I slammed the door. I had learned early on that Peyton could see the things I moved. Fucking not me, though. Ha. I didn’t get it.

The photos rattled against the wall as she screamed.

She leaped for the phone on the nightstand. Knowing who she sought to call killed me a little more. Always King. My parents were next door and could be here quicker, but she never called them. No matter how many tears she shed because of him. No matter how angry or sad she was about what he’d done, she’d still call him.

And she would love and forgive him. That tenant was something she lived by. She loved with all she had. And now she carried his child. Silas King would get all that was mine.ThatI couldn’t allow.

Reaching out, I jerked the phone from her hand. The device clattered to the floor. Peyton’s pupils dilated, and she gripped our son tighter. She ran down the stairs. I was at the foot of them when she yanked the car keys off the hook and grabbed T.J.’s car seat.

No.They couldn’t leave me.

My hand found the door as soon as hers did. I held the knob. And at first, it worked. She cried and screamed as she tried to wiggle it free. When I lost my ghostly grip, I cursed, and Peyton slipped right through me and into the night with our son.

“Peyton!” I yelled and chased her down the steps.

When I stood at the bottom of the porch, I froze, then stared at my hands, and finally, at where I was. Outside the house.What? How? Before I knew it, Peyton was speeding away.

“Peyton!”

Was that it? Did Peyton no longer need me? Miss me? Think of me? I didn’t understand. Why was I fucking there? Was she letting me go to be with King?

No. The hollowed-out ache inside my chest couldn’t allow that. My heart may not have beat any longer, but I couldn’t let Peyton go.