Page 126 of From Me to You

Jay’s blue eyes, which I loved so much, shone with so much pain when he looked at me. “You can do anything you want. I won’t ask you anything. Just stay with me, sweetheart. Please, don’t leave me. I can’t breathe without you,” he croaked.

My entire body seized in pain. It was so much pain that I could hardly breathe.

“I don’t want that, Jay. I want to be free. I don’t want to be tied down by you. So, please, Jay, let me go.” I cried softly.

Jay shook his head, and crawled over, placing his head on my lap. He encircled his arms around my hips. “You promised me that you would love me forever. It doesn’t matter if you don’t love me. But you promised you would always stay with me. I don’t care what you do. I won’t ask you any questions, but please don’t leave me, sweetheart, please.” He sobbed in my lap.

My heart burned with pain, and my hands shook as I gently stroked his hair. I had never seen Jay cry before, and it was breaking my heart. I couldn’t breathe as I sobbed along with him. I was broken.

It took everything in me to utter the next words, but it was all for him, I reminded myself. I was doing this all for him.

I swallowed my cries as I told him softly. “I am sorry, Jay. I love you, but it isn’t enough. When I was in Bellevue, I thought I had everything figured out, but when I came to L.A., I saw that there was so much more to life. I want to go out there and actually live my life. I don’t want to be tied down to you. Even if I stay, down the line, we will only end up resenting each other. And I don’t want. You are destined for greater things, and I will always be proud of you for that. but I can’t stay, Jay. I have to go. You are suffocating me, and I don’t like it.”

His entire body stiffened in my lap, and he slowly rose up to meet my eyes. His jaw tickled. “I am suffocating you, sweetheart?” Jay asked in a cold, cold voice that made me want to die. But I was already dead.

“Yes.” I croaked. It was the last thing I wanted to say to him. He would never suffocate me. He was the air I breathed.

Jay closed his eyes, and when he opened them, all the sadness and pain vanished, replaced by a cold glacial glare that sent shivers down my whole body. “Leave, but don’t ever come back. I don’t ever want to see your face again.”

My whole world clouded as he got up and stormed out the door. A sob that I was holding back escaped me. He had looked at me with so much hate. Jay had never looked at me like that.

I screamed in agony as the realization hit me—that was the last time I was ever going to see his face. That was the last time he was ever going to see me. The man that I loved told me he never wanted to see my face again. He told me to never come back.

I sobbed as I curled up, and my head hit the floor. I clutched the ‘J’ on my neck. It only made me sob more when I thought it was the only thing I had left of him. And the ring, I removed it and closed my fist around them both. I couldn’t stop crying because my dead, dead heart was breaking as the burning pain slithered down my body, and I didn’t know what to do. How was I ever going to be alive without seeing him? How was I ever going to live when I knew he hated me? How could I survive when I knew that when I woke up tomorrow, I wouldn’t ever see him again?

And that day on the cold, hard floor, I died. My soul and my heart were no longer beating, just surviving. All of it shattered along with him. But the only thing I knew was that my love for him would always stay alive.

CHAPTER 25

My throat burned as I packed my bag. My eyes were swollen and red, and my vision was still blurry. I only packed what I came with. I didn’t take any of the clothes that I had gotten here except for the blue dress. I didn’t have the heart to part with that dress.

I sighed as I picked up about ten of Jay’s t-shirts and hoodies to take along with me. Especially his unwashed ones, where his smell still lingered. I didn’t care if it was gross because I just lost the love of my life.

A painful breath escaped me as I thought about last night. It was early, just around sunrise, and Jay still hadn’t returned. But I knew he would not return. I just hoped that he was okay.

I texted Will to see if he was doing all right, and he replied with a selfie of him icing his face. It looked bad, but it probably could have been worse. I profusely apologized to him to which he rolled his eyes. I felt so bad for dragging him into this mess. But I was glad it was him. Someone I trusted rather than a random guy who could have taken advantage of the situation.

I asked Will if he could drop me off at the airport, and he immediately replied with a yes and said he would wait outside for me. Will was a godsent. I couldn’t believe he helped me so much.

I was worried about Jay’s hand. I hoped it didn’t bruise much or hurt. It was his guitar-playing hand, so I prayed he would beokay. At least he had the money and resources to get it all fixed now. And he had all the guys, Katy, Lily, and his family. I was back to square one. I had only had Aunty M again.

I looked at the room one last time and took a deep breath as I headed out. I would be okay. I had to be okay.

Just as I headed into the foyer, Katy strode toward me furiously and slapped me so hard on my face that my ears were ringing.

I clutched my cheek as I looked at her. I didn’t feel the pain at all because my body was already burning with pain.

“The audacity, Evy. You fucking cheated on him. All he ever did was love you. Emmie loved you so fucking much,” she cried as Lan and Matt stormed behind her and pulled her away.

“Let it go, Katy. She is leaving,” Lan said to her as he slowly tried to drag her away from me.

“I hate you, Evy. You fucking heard that. I fucking hate you so much. I regret having a friend like you. I can’t believe you ruined Emmie,” she screamed as Lan hauled her out of the foyer.

Matt shook his head at me and followed them.

“E.” I turned to the front door to see Mikey who was just getting inside. He looked like he didn’t sleep all night. He must have been with Jay. I peered behind him, but he was alone.

I swallowed as I made my way out.