Page 24 of Longing for More

I didn’t think any of us did.

But this was new for Aspen. Hell—it was new for all of us, but she held the power at the end of the day. If she wanted to pull the plug on it all and go back to Ryder, she could easily take a morning contraceptive and we would move on with our lives.

I would respect that, too. It was her choice.

I loved her like family. If she would let me in, I would love her more, but my respect for her, her relationship, her health, and more was of my utmost priority right now.

Ryder sighed and went back to tending to her hair. He reached for the bottle of conditioner and began lathering it into the ends of her hair next, finger combing all the knots from our activities out of her scalp. I nearly wanted to pout.

She looked good with sex hair.

“Let’s talk about that tomorrow, angel. We’re all tired. Nothing is gonna be decided tonight, okay?”

She frowned slightly and a pang hit my chest. The insecurities and doubts whooshed in. After a few moments though—her savoring Ryder and mine’s touch as he massaged the base of her scalp and I moved to the top of her thighs—she nodded her head. “Okay, baby.”

My face pinched as I stood up, groaning myself this time.

I was getting old. It felt like my joints needed W-40.

I had one more year in my contract with the Marines—the same as Ryder—and I had already debated retiring, rather than renewing for another term. Regardless of how much I loved serving for our country, my body could only take so much. Though, as it often goes when you serve, you question the lines of when is enough, and if you’re truly at your limit or not.

It felt like I was officially reaching mine, though.

And more than that—if Aspen decided this is truly what she wanted—I would be choosing her and our child without a second doubt in my mind. And, from our conversation earlier, I knew Ryder was in the exact same boat as me.

Aspen opened her eyes at the sound that left my lips, and a look of concern filled her face as she stared at the both of us.

I tried my hardest to ignore it, though.

Receiving her caring analysis felt like too much until I knew how she wanted to proceed.

Moving the soap to her abdomen and chest, I rubbed both hands against her front as Ryder moved behind her, taking the brunt of the water as he took care of her back. I couldn’t help but pay special attention to her stomach, though.

In the back of my mind, I knew it would likely take a few tries for anything to happen. The human body was truly one of science, and while miracles were more than possible, I knew better.

But a part of me couldn’t help but hope for it.

This entire night started with the notion that Ryder wanted to become a dad, but as time continued, I think I realized I wanted it just as much.

Finally, as we decided Aspen was clean, the both of us went to clean ourselves up, only to be stopped by a gentle hand on both of our stomachs. Aspen reached for the soap herself and began taking care of us, in tandem, exactly as we took care of her.

Of course, dirty thoughts entered my mind.

Especially as she got down on her knees in front of the both of us.

I had to stifle my groan as I fought the thoughts back. Definitely not the time.

Finally, as we all found ourselves clean, we got out of the shower and towel dried before walking over to the bed. Aspenlooked at it and us hesitantly, wondering how to broach the topic of us all sleeping together. I was thankful Ryder broke the silence that clouded all three of us. “In the middle, baby girl. Let us both hold you tonight.”

She smiled and repeated the same words from earlier, though happier this time. “Okay, baby.”

Even with her happy answer, the insecurities of never repeating this night plagued me. And as we all laid down, exhausted and closing my eyes, I couldn’t help but ask, “Did you have fun?”

Aspen snorted, and one of my eyes popped open as I stared at her. She was firmly in between the two of us, somehow wrapped in Ryder’s arms while her legs were intertwined with mine. The sound was far from ladylike, and yet amused me all the same. In a mocking tone—likely to poke fun at Ryder—she leaned up to grab the large throw blanket at the end of the bed and muttered, “Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

I chuckled.

She was lucky I was in my aftercare mentality, or I would have spanked her again and demanded an answer out of her mouth. Though, instead, Ryder and I both watched as she quickly fell asleep, completely and utterly at peace.