Page 36 of Master B-1901

“What if you could remember?”

“Then that’d be my choice and it would be different. There’s no joy in waking up to a corpse and having no idea what happened. It’s not enjoyable. It doesn’t give me a thrill.”

“Do you want a thrill? Do you feel like you need one?”

My Master grew quiet as he stared back at the blank list.

“Sometimes. It’s been a while since I—” He stopped. “I used to think I did. I was so excited to come here. A part of me was like…finally. I mean…I’ve killed before, it’s just been a really long time since I could do so at will. Because Iwantedto.” A groan filled the room. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“No. Your needs, your likes and dislikes are part of me.” I watched his gaze grow angry as it met mine. “Master, may I get you someone you can kill.”

“What?”

“You’re at the Gardens for a reason. What if meeting this need helps? You have no control over anything right now. I believe this will give you back that power.”

“And if it triggers an episode and I kill not only them but you?”

I smiled. It came so naturally that I paused in my response.

“You won’t kill me. You can’t. I felt you at your most powerful. You weren’t holding back, and you couldn’t win. Stop worrying over the impossible. You’re not as strong as you think you are.”

Shock merged with anger which then merged with…laughter. He let out a loud chuckle, pulling me into his arms to hug.

“You’re callously honest. I’m glad you’re so confident. I’m not, but I’m going to take your word for it. So…what do you suggest with this murder you want me to commit? It’s not auction night. I can’t just go down and buy a slave. I mean, there is the batting cage, but I can’t leave the apartment.”

“No, you can’t, but the Main Master might help us. He may even want to monitor to make sure it doesn’t trigger you. Perhaps it can count as a therapy session. It’s a test, and I think it’s exactly what you need right now.

“Hmm.” The appeal was there as he twisted his mouth. “Maybe. But weren’t you a cop. You condone murder now?”

My brow drew in. My brain tried to decipher the question.

“You’re my Master and your needs come first. What I feel you need is an outlet. We can get you a slave to kill or…you can try to fight me again and I can show you just how much better I am than you. I don’t suggest that though with your hand.”

“That’s not the first time you’ve brought up my hand since we’ve left the hospital. You keep pointing it out every chance you get. I think you enjoy knowing you broke it. You probably did it with happiness in your heart and a smile on your face.” Hetightened his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. “As for fighting you…as much as I’d love to slap you around, I’d much rather slap my cock against your mean ass mouth.”

“Right now?” Emotions flickered. Braddock‘s head dipped and his lips hovered over mine. My lids lowered and where I waited for his kiss, his arm dropped, and he stepped back. “Master?

Uncertainty.

“Maybe calling Elec wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

The sudden rejection had me trying to process if I’d done something wrong. He said I was callously honest. Had I upset him with myhonesty? Word choice would say yes. His laughter said the opposite.

“I should probably be the one to make this call. Parmesan chicken. Add that to the list.”

There was a slight hesitation as I picked up the pen, watching him grab the cell. What started off as a few steps became more as he glanced my way, holding the phone to his ear as he began to pace.

“Elec, hey. Yeah it’s me.” A pause. “No, I’m okay. Well…I haven’t killed her yet if that’s what you mean. We’re fine. I just.” He stopped. “My slave—Allison, she mentioned something, and after the last few days, I think maybe she’s right. I’m a little…edgy. And confused. I’m so fucking confused. I keep…feeling something inside of me. I’m angry. More than angry. I need a release. Allison thinks maybe if I could—that maybe you’d want to monitor me as therapy. I don’t want to go into another episode, but if I had this control. Fuck I’m talking in circles. I’m not making sense.”

Braddock got quiet as he listened. I couldn’t hear what the Main Master was saying, but I could tell something sounded off with his tone.

“Right. Yeah, of course.” Surprise lit up Braddock’s face. “You’re sure?” A pause. “If you think that’s what’s best. You could charge me whatever you want. I just…I think I need this. No, I know I do. I can’t even touch her without fearing I might...Right. Okay.”

A good minute went by as more talking filled the space. I scribbled food on the list, trying to stay focused.

“Okay. Sounds great.”

My Master hung up and I placed the pen down, standing straighter.