Page 34 of Fervor

When I was done washing her, she left the shower and started running water in the sink, stopping it up with a towel. She didn’t bother drying her body as she soaped another towel and headed to the bed as I washed up. She stripped it and began scrubbing the mattress. I could hear her sobs over the running water, and the sound of that hit me right in the gut.

After I cleaned up, I got out of the shower and joined her. She nearly jumped out of her skin when I touched her. I took a step back with my hands lifted. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I’m sorry, Harlem. Can we talk when I finish?”

“Yeah. Let me help you.”

She nodded as I took the towel from her and took it to the sink to rinse it out. I closed my eyes for a moment, wishing she didn’t have to go through this. This shit was all Mo’s fault, and knowing that I was connected to his memory only made me feel sick. I was related to her trauma. I felt like I was keeping a huge secret from her… like I was deceiving her, and I didn’t like the way that shit felt.

However, I knew I couldn’t tell her here… not unless she said his name. If she said his name, I had a feeling she would leave me. We would be done, and there wouldn’t be a thing I could do to change her mind. I would still fight until the bitter end though. I refused to lose this angel.

When I went back to the bed, I cleaned the mattress, doing my best to get all the soap out of it. Because she was so embarrassed, she’d put an abundance of soap on it. There was no way I would get it all out, but I knew I could get most of it out if I kept rinsing the towel. Going back to the sink, I released the water and rinsed the towel again.

I repeated that three more times, then came back with a large towel to put over the wet spot. I glanced up at her as she watched me with tears streaming down her cheeks. Going to her, I pulled her in my arms. That seemed to release the floodgates all over again. She wrapped her arms around me as I held her close.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. Let’s make this bed so we can lay back down.”

She pulled away from me and nodded, then got the fitted sheet from the cedar chest. We made the bed in no time, and she lay down with a huff. When I got in bed, she turned to me and gently caressed my cheek, then slid her fingers through my beard.

“My dad used to work for Jungle’s dad. That’s how I knew who he and Vegas were. Yonkers took care of us like you wouldn’t believe. He was the ultimate protector. I was their only child for nearly eight years. I’m not sure why they waited so long to get pregnant again, but Keke was welcomed by all of us. She was so beautiful. She looked like a little chocolate doll.”

She smiled slightly, and I did too. “I’m sure you looked the same way as a baby,” I said.

She shook her head. “I had eczema as a kid. My skin was horrible. My mama tried everything she could until she found the product that worked for my skin. I still use it to this day.”

She took a deep breath as I played with her hair, nervously waiting for her to continue. “No one in the Patterson organization knew what I looked like, because that was just how protective my daddy was of us. The same was for Keke. Only Ice and a couple of people in Ice’s firing squad knew what we looked like. Vegas’s father was one of those men.”

I nodded. She took a deep breath, and I pulled her closer to me. I had a sinking feeling in my chest. I was going to have to reveal this shit to her after this; I felt it in my soul. I wanted to fucking cry. I knew what had happened earlier with that man showing up here had triggered this shit. I wished I wouldn’t have been so cautious, but I knew no other way to be, concerning people I cared about.

“One day, one of the guys was at the house. Mama was cooking, I was playing with my dolls, and Keke was in her bed sleeping. She was only about ten months or so at the time. As I played, Dad’s friend came inside to use the restroom. I really didn’t like him. He looked scary, and my mama seemed to be scared of him too. I couldn’t understand why my daddy allowed him to come around. No one else really came around like that, because they respected Yonkers and how he protected his family. It was obvious that nigga didn’t.”

She took a deep breath, and I felt her body tremble. “I could hear Keke crying. It wasn’t loud though. I thought I would help my mama and go see about her. I always did that because I loved my baby sister. She may as well had been my baby. When I opened the door to her room, Mo was in there at her crib.”

There it was. She said his name. I closed my eyes, trying to control my breathing so she could finish saying what she needed to say.

“When I walked in further, I could see he had a hand over her mouth, and his fingers were in her diaper. When he saw me standing there and I told him I was going to tell my daddy, he pointed his gun at me. I peed on myself. He told me that if I told, he would kill all of us.”

I wrapped my arms around her tightly as a fucking tear slid down my cheek. She pulled away from me with a frown on her beautiful face. “What’s wrong, Harlem?”

I swallowed hard as I sat up in the bed. “What did you say his name was?”

“Who? My daddy?”

“No. The man that abused Keke and threatened you.”

“Mo. You knew him?”

“Yeah.” I slid my hand over my face as her eyes remained on me, wide with curiosity. “He was my father.”

My eyes were wide, and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Harlem jumped up from the bed and ran to the toilet. He was throwing up. I felt like I was barely breathing. He said Mo was his father.What the fuck?

I should have known this was too good to be true. He said he didn’t really have a relationship with him when we talked about our families, but I wanted to believe that he knew exactly who I was, especially after meeting up with us at the club that first time. That was why Vegas and Jungle were frowning at the wedding. They knew who he was. This was all fucked up.

I stood from the bed, on the verge of another panic attack. Maybe I had the dream after meeting him because my spirit picked up on this. I got my suitcase and started slinging shit in it. I couldn’t stay here. While I knew he wasn’t his father, he was a part of him. How could I carry on a relationship with a man whowas closely related to the man that terrorized us? He didn’t look like him, but now that I knew, I couldn’t unknow.

When he turned back to me, and I saw the tears on his face, it hurt my heart. “You knew, didn’t you? That was why you let me go. That was why you stopped pressing me.”

“Vegas didn’t realize who I was. Jungle did though. I was rarely around that nigga. Once Jungle and Vegas enlightened me on who you were and what Mo had done, I knew I had to let go. That was another reason why I didn’t want to go too far at the club that night. I thought I wouldn’t see you again though. When you told me that you had to be rematched, my anxiety kicked up a bit about us possibly being paired.”