Page 115 of Accepting Fate
As far as the whole engagement thing goes, Landon isn’t too far off though. It crossed my mind to propose on her birthday, but she is still guarded about her past.
I had been asking her for weeks what she wanted for her birthday. When she told me about wanting the waterfall tattoo, it took everything in me to keep my control and not veer off the road.
My sweet girl wants a tattoo on her perfect body that symbolizes us. I knew that meant she loved me but then she fucking said it and it felt real.
I feel my phone go off in my pocket. When I pull it out, I pause and stare at the background. Logan is looking at me, walking backwards up the trail, her hair in some complicated braids that go down both sides of her head, with her tongue sticking out. With the backdrop of the forest, her green eyes shine brighter than ever before.
I quickly swipe to see a text from her.
Angel: Hey Bear, just got off work. Tough night. I'm sorry but I'm going to skip out on poker night and just go home and go to bed. Love you.
Something is wrong.
I stand up quickly and my brothers jump up from the couch.
Shit.
"Logan texted saying she had a bad night and is going home instead of coming here. I’m heading over to make sure she's okay.”
"Fuck, Gray. You can’t do shit like that,” Noah says as he falls back down onto the couch. "Go check on your girl but don't walk in with that face or she will think someone died.”
I grab my keys off the coffee table and run out to my truck.
Without bothering to call her, I head right over and pull into her driveway minutes later. As I walk up the path to the door, I try to stay in the light coming from the windows so she can see me. I see Logan peek through the curtain in the living room. I make a mental note to get her some security cameras. If she did that and it wasn't me, she would have given her vulnerability away to the intruder. I try my key and it unlocks but the door doesn’t move.
What the hell is going on? She never looks out the window and she hasn’t been using the door stopper. Something is really fucking wrong.
As she opens the door, I can see the confusion on her face.
"Hey, what are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you until later,” she says, stepping aside to let me in.
When she turns back around from locking the door and replacing the door stopper, I grab her by the waist and pull her into my chest. I can feel her body immediately relax, which assures me I made the correct decision in coming over tonight.
I place my hands on the side of her face and tilt her head to look up at me. "Because you needed me.” Then I kiss her, and she melts. Wetness hits my lips, and she pulls back. Tears stream down her cheeks and she buries her face into my chest.
I slide my hands down her body to her thighs and lift her, she immediately wraps her legs around my waist and buries her face in my neck, sobs taking over her body. I walk over to the couch and lay down. After adjusting the pillows behind my back and covering us in a blanket, I slowly run my hands up and down her back.
She lays on my chest, molding her body to mine as close as she can get. When she settles into a comfortable position, her cries turn into a panic attack.
I tighten my arms around her. "Go to the waterfall. We are walking on the trail up there. The branches are crunching under our feet.”
Her breathing gets faster and I tighten my hold on her. "We reach the waterfall. We go to our rock and take off our clothes. I jump in first and then you do. The water is a lot warmer than the first time. You swim to the surface and I’m there to hold you up. We swim around for a while and then I win the splash war.”
I repeat myself a few times until her breathing is much slower, and she isn’t crying as hard. I loosen my hold and run my hands up and down her back until her breathing returns to normal and her cries subside.
Not sure how long we stay like that but, slowly, Logan starts to sit up in my arms. She may have fallen asleep, but I wasn't moving a muscle until she did. I would sit there for days if that's what she needed to feel better. Logan lifts her head off my chest and gives me a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. I speak quietly, "Feel better?”
She lets out a soft sigh and shrugs her shoulders. "I’m okay. A Lot better than when I first got home. Thank you for coming over. I should have just come to you.”
I sit up, adjusting her so she’s in my lap. "I'm here to be used by you. If you're angry and need to scream at someone, give me everything you have. If you need to release all that stress you carry, I’ll fuck you for hours until you’re so exhausted that your mind and body feels like jello. If you're too tired to walk from the car to the couch, I'll be there to carry you. If you're sad and need to lay on my chest for hours and cry, I'm your pillow. Take whatever you need from me because I can promise you no matter how much you take, it will never be enough. I love you. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. So, use and abuse me, Angel, because we have the rest of our lives together for you to return the favor.”
Tears stream down her face and I can’t take it anymore. I need to know what’s going on. No more secrets. I don’t want to push her, but I can’t protect her if I don’t know what I need to protect her from.
She nods and is about to say something, but I hold my finger up to her lips in a shushing motion. "I’m not done.”
Logan looks so confused and it’s fucking adorable. Damn, I love being able to read her so easily.
"I promised you I would protect you and keep you safe, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what I’m fighting. I need you to let me all the way in, Angel.”