Page 140 of Accepting Fate
My leave of absence has turned into me handing in my resignation. The hospital promised me I will have a spot when life calms down a little. I love my job, but I also learned that I need to slow down and focus on myself for a little while.
Looking down at my arm, I stare at a beautiful replica of my favorite place that my talented man tattooed on me. He insisted I start going to work with him to keep him company while he worked on a client for a few hours.
One day, I was planning on going on a hike, but he insisted I come in to see what he was working on. Turns out, I was the client and he decided it was time for me to get that tattoo I told him I wanted for my birthday. I didn’t even hesitate and sat my happy butt in the chair for some much-needed tattoo therapy. He did a perfect job at capturing the beauty of my favorite place.
That same day, he told me he was still working on the design for a tattoo he was getting for me on his chest. But he wanted something now, so he tattooed a cursive ‘L’ on his ring finger.
I was planning on getting him a temporary wedding band since I was making him wait but my man wanted something more permanent. It’s safe to say that as the days go on, he is more teddy bear than caveman and I love both versions equally.
Grayson’s arms tighten around me, and he rests his chin on my shoulder. I turn my head slightly and kiss his cheek. He gives me an almost sleepy smile.
He couldn’t sleep last night and after an hour of pestering him, he told me he had a nightmare that I didn’t wake up after the attack.
More guilt hit me like a ton of bricks at the thought of my teddy bear feeling scared to go to sleep because if he did, he might see me die. He has been holding in so much, trying to be my rock. I had to explain to him that the pain is still there, but I am very happy, and I don’t want him to think he can’t lean on me just because I sometimes have rough days.
Grayson is going to be my husband and even though I don’t have a great frame of reference for how marriage works, I’ve seen his parents. They are the true inspiration of how I want to look in fifty years, just with more caveman and grumpiness.
Gray took my insistence literally and laid his head in my lap, telling me every little detail of his dream. Somehow, it morphed from the dream of me not waking up to him explaining every little fear he has ever had. One including that he tattoos the wrong name on someone.
I smile at the image of him actually doing it and of course, Grayson catches it.
He kisses me on the cheek and says low enough so only I can hear, "I don’t know what that smile was for, but I love seeing it.”
"Thank you for being you, Bear. I don’t think I would be here if it wasn’t for you.”
His hand goes to cup my face, his thumb brushing against my cheek. "Thanks, Angel, but you would have. It was all you, I’m just happy I was the one that got to stand beside you while you kicked ass and took back what was yours.”
Damn this man and his words. He will be getting a very nice present later.
As if he reads my mind, Grayson’s eyes darken and he whispers in my ear in a low growl, "Yes. To whatever the fuck you are thinking about.”
I am about to consider how obvious it would be if we both disappeared upstairs for a while when a throat clears beside us.
Grayson shifts me slightly and I feel how our meaningful conversation, that quickly escalated to wanting to rip his clothes off, has affected him.
Landon looks exhausted as he sits down on the chair next to us and hands me a yellow envelope.
"What’s this?” I ask, completely clueless as to what this could be.
Willow jumps off Wes’s lap, who is in aheated conversation with Harper, and lays down at Grayson’s feet.
My sweet girl has been a lifesaver for my panic attacks and PTSD. She must have sensed a change in my mood and I’m happy to have her close.
Grayson starts opening the envelope, but I stop him.
"Please tell me this isn’t about Allie?” I plead.
Landon doesn’t hesitate to explain and I’m grateful. "It’s not. It’s about your dad.”
I stare at Landon even more confused than before. "My dad?”
"Something came back while I have been searching for Allie. Did your mom ever say anything about your biological father?”
"No. She never talked about him. I assumed it was a one-night stand.”
I never asked my mom about my father. We moved around so much, and her boyfriends never lasted long until Mike. Before I could piece together something wasn’t normal about our family dynamic, it was too late.
Landon leans forward and looks at Grayson. An apologetic look falls over his face and he sighs. "You’re right about the one-night stand but I think I know why she didn’t say anything.” He pauses. "I’m sorry, Logan. Your father was killed in a car accident a few weeks after you were born.”