Page 53 of Accepting Fate
Which is not good because that means my guard will be down and I cannot afford for that to happen. Ever.
When I found the strength to look him in the eyes, my heart sank. I could tell something was different. Grayson was smiling and giving the whole “you’re mine” speech, but something wasn’t right. I can’t exactly put my finger on it and say what it is, but I could just tell.
He is absolutely perfect in terms of physical appearance but under his eyes, there was a faint color of purple. His body language was almost normal, but he was leaning against my Jeep a lot. To anyone else, it would look like he was just trying to block me from getting in and driving away. But to me, it looked more like a maneuver so he wouldn’t fall over from exhaustion.
My caretaking instincts kicked in and I wanted to bring him inside and force him to relax. But I couldn’t. He still made me feel like a fool for trusting him and then not showing up.
Telling him I needed a few days wasn’t just me playing hard to get. I am, but I wanted to show him that I won’t let stuff like this fly. I know it was probably a misunderstanding, judging by the fact he was so eager to explain what happened. But mistake or not, I let my guard down slightly and it blew up in my face. If I let Gray in for real this time, I know I won’t be able to let him go. So, I need to decide if my strong feelings for him are worth risking his safety.
Grayson is the type of person you don’t just get over if things go wrong. He would fucking wreck me and I don’t think I could handle that on top of everything else.
My thoughts are interrupted by a pounding on my window. I scream and grab my taser from the center console, ready to go to war with whoever is trying to fuck with me.
Turning my head to size up my attacker, I see red hair peeking up from the bottom of the window.
This little shithead.
Dropping the taser back in the console, I take a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart and roll down the window. Leaning out, I see Harper crouched on the ground laughing her ass off.
She lifts her head to look at me and I see tears streaming down her face. She falls backward on her ass and continues laughing.
“You fucking bitch. I could have tased you!” I yell.
Harper ignores me and continues laughing.
“Move before I hit you with my door,” I say as I roll up the window and turn off the Jeep, grabbing my phone from the cupholder as I hop out. “Not that you don’t deserve it, but I don’t want to hear you complain about a headache all night.”
Harper stands up and wipes the tears off her face, still laughing. “Sorry, but that was funny as hell. You should have seen your face.”
Harper holds her hands up to her face and mimics a terrified look while holding her keys pretending like it’s a taser.
Ignoring her, I grab my bag from the backseat and lock the doors. Together, we start walking toward the front entrance of the ER.
Harper pokes my arm and gives me a questioning look. “Hey, you never told me what happened with Grayson last night. Actually, after you told me you were home, you went quiet.”
I really don’t want to explain what happened because she already has her suspicions about him. I wouldn’t be so worried about what she thinks if I knew I wasn’t going to give him a second chance. But I know I am.
We reach the front entrance, and she tugs me to the side of the doors and gives me a concerned look. “Lo, did he hurt you? Because I swear to god, I will kill him and make it look like an accident.”
Tears fill my eyes and I give her a small smile. “No, H, he didn’t.” I hesitate before continuing. I know what she is going to say but I’m tired of bottling every little thing up. “He never showed up. I didn’t hear from him until three in the morning. He called and texted multiple times then came over when I was leaving for work.”
If looks could kill Harper would have just committed her first murder. Folding her arms across her chest, she blurts out, “I knew it! I hate to be that person that says I told you so because you’re clearly upset, but I told you so. Guys like that think they can get away with anything because they know their looks will have the girls coming right back. This is good. It happened before you got too attached and now, we can focus on finding you a nice guy here and say bye to that asshole mountain dickhead.”
“Mountain dickhead?” I ask, trying not to laugh. Laughing is better than crying right before I walk into work. I need to shift this conversation so I can focus tonight and not be all mopey.
The serious expression on her face lets me know she is pissed. “Yes, Logan. Mountain dickhead. I know you’re sad, but this is your sign to let him go. He’s not good enough for you. You deserve more than being stood up on your first official date.”
My mood shifts back into the place of ultimate conflict. She’s right. I know she is, but I also know that Harper is biased and wants me to move back to Seattle. Also, she is a damn good best friend and when she sees her normally seemingly happy faced friend crying, she turns into mama bear.
I wipe away a tear that escaped. “Listen, H. I know you don’t like Grayson, but to be fair you don’t know him. This is the first guy I have entertained the idea of having a relationship with. I’m not saying I’m going to immediately give him another shot, but I don’t think he’s lying with his excuse either. This entire situation is complicated as fuck, and I told him I needed a few days to think. I know you will think it’s stupid and to be honest I don’t even know if I am making the right choice.”
Harper relaxes but stares at me with concern. “Alright, Lo. I don’t like him but you asked me to trust you and I do. But make it hell for him and really think about what you want to do.”
“Oh, I plan on it,” I declare.
Harper moves to my side and takes my hospital badge off the fabric strap of my backpack and hands it to me.
I go to take it from her, but she pulls back and furrows her eyebrows. “What was his excuse?”