Page 103 of Ho Ho Oh No

And finally, Lettie got Klein’s mother an adult coloring book calledSouthern Swears for Fucking Ladies. I’m only slightly jealous that I didn’t get one of those.

Having finally emptied the gift sack, I heft my aching back over to the row of chairs and collapse in the one beside Maddie. She’s holding two unopened presents on her lap. One from Lettie and one from me.

“How come you didn’t open them?” I ask.

Her soft smile somehow makes my back hurt less. “Well, this one is too pretty to open.” She gestures at the one Lettie wrapped.

“And the other?”

“I was waiting for you.”

Her answer knocks the wind out of me. Because that’s the same thought I’ve had about her since I walked into that diner all those years ago.

Later that night, we talked about a lot of things. In a voice cushioned by weariness and fatigue, she asked, “Alan, why haven’t you ever gotten married?”

“I’ve been waiting for the right woman,”I said, trying to be aloof.

I didn’t know it at the time, but my answer was true. And a part of me knew then that I’d finally found her.

I tug the hat off my head and remove the Santa beard.Shifting my weary frame toward her, I fling one arm over the back of her chair. “Well, I’m here now, Maddie.”

Her throat works down a forced swallow. I’m swept up in memories of all the times I’ve kissed her there, knowing it’ll never be enough.

Daintily, she shakes the gift by her ear. “It’s very light. Obviously very small.” She shakes it again. “And silent.”

Attempting to keep my face impassive, I nod along and give nothing away.

“Is there even anything inside?”

“There is,” I confirm, my stoic mask slipping.

Her eyes narrow into crescents. “Is it jewelry?”

“Nope. I heeded your warning.”

She was explicitly clear I wasn’t allowed to buy her jewelry because she knew it would be a ring.

“Good boy,” she says from behind a sly grin. “And you’re sure I should open this here? With witnesses?”

“Open it anywhere you like.”

Her fingernails toy along the wrapping paper crease. “Can I have a hint to help me decide?”

I roll my eyes and shrug.“Sure.”

“What material is it made of?”

I lean forward, ensuring I’ve heard her right.“Material?”

She nods.

“Medieval iron ore,” I joke, barely containing a barking laugh.

“I mean... is it metal like a key? Soft like a fabric?”

“It’s paper, Maddie.”

She bunches her lips in the corner of her mouth.“Like a letter?”