Page 31 of His Daggered Heart
I rush into the restroom, grabbing all the stuff Kohen said I could keep here for when I stay over. We’re arguing, and I can’t even recall what it was about specifically but I can see it like a dream. It feels so long ago but it also feels like it was just yesterday.
He rushes in after me and I move from the sink to the toilet, watching the memory unfold again before my very eyes like ghosts in the steamy room.
I’m stuffing my bag and he grabs my arm to stop me. I yank away.
“Not everything can be fixed, Kohen. You can’t always ride in like a knight in shining armor on your fucking white horse and be a hero. Some things can’t be fixed, some people aren’t worth saving. I’m done with this and with you.”
He interrupts me with both of my arms held tightly by him as if he can prevent me from walking out the door. I remember the pleading in his green eyes, he wasn’t trying to prevent me from leaving, he was begging me not to give up. I see that now. He interrupted me and I remember flinching from thinking he was going to hit me as he wiped my hair from my face.
“Fine!” his voice rises, causing goosebumps to rise. “Alex, you don’t want to be saved, that’s fine. But you’re not so broken that we can’t fit our pieces together and make something new. You aren’t so far gone that you don’t deserve love.”
He cradles my cheek in his large hand and I remember the feeling of my eyes fluttering closed at his warmth, his love.
“Maybe I can’t save you. Maybe I’m not supposed to. Maybe you are supposed to save yourself.” He kisses me so passionately at that moment, I think it’s going to be the end of this particular issue, no matter what the argument is at the surface. The depth of it is my insecurity, not about my body, but the seeds my mother planted.
I don’t deserve him or his love and the more he gives it to me, the more he shows me it’s unconditional. I can do nothing to make him walk away the less I feel like I deserve it.
Fuck her, I know better now. Kohen, Levi, and Cora have shown me better. I finally believe that I deserve every good thing that comes to me, and even when that little voice of hers makes its way to the forefront of my mind, I pluck it out and toss it away. I used to shove it away but that gave it power to resurface when I was weak, like in this argument. No more! I want to love myself so completely that my mother’s voice can never pierce my heart again.
She didn’t love me, fine, but that doesn’t mean no one else can.
I face myself in the mirror and I jump, seeing Kohen in the reflection behind me.
“Omg, you scared me. I didn’t hear you get out of the shower.”
He wraps his large arms around me and burrows his nose in the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent. I feel his dick harden against my ass and I smile, turning to face him. His eyes roam my face and his thumb comes up to wipe away tears I didn’t realize I had.
“What’s wrong, angel?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.” My throat tightens.
“Alex Monroe, I know you and you wouldn’t be crying for nothing. Let’s get dressed and go relax. I’ll get some snacks and we can chill, putGreaseon, and talk, okay?”
I smile weakly as I watch him pull his boxers up, adjusting himself inside them. He looks at me and winks, and I melt. He places a small kiss on my cheek before leaving the restroom and my knees weaken. I fucking love this man, he is it for me. I will marry him someday.
I look back in the mirror, pulling my hair into a high bun, tears falling as I sob. I fucking love him, and he fucking loves me. I wipe my tears, put on his sweatpants and t-shirt, and march my ass right out into the living room so that I make sure he knows I will never do anything to hurt his heart again.
Chapter 25
Alex
Iwalkoutintothe massive living area and right up to the couch where Kohen is resting. The opening song toGreaseplays in the background. Snacks are placed around him as he sits there on his phone, waiting for me. Even though he is tall, the huge sectional swallows him up. I don’t know why anybody needs a couch that big.
He looks up from his phone, noticing me. I climb on top of him, straddling his thick thighs. A smirk is on his gorgeous face, his tan skin glowing with the light from the big screen mounted behind us.
I place my hands on either side of his face and say, “Why are you smiling?”
He moves into me, kissing my lips gently, and pulls back. “Because you look so tiny in my clothes stomping into the living room straight to me like you’re on a mission. It’s cute.” He pinches my cheek before looking into my eyes.
My cheeks heat, and I smack his arm. “Kohen!”
“What?” he says, pulling my body down to him.
“I was trying to come in here, seriously, and talk to you.”
“So talk to me, baby, tell me all the things. What is on my beautiful sexy girl’s mind?”
I pull my body off of him and grab his face again. I look into his eyes, and he realizes I mean business.