Page 81 of Wilde Abandon
“Yes.”To prove it, she pushed into him as he thrust deep.
For a second he just stopped and savored the feel of being one with her again.
Heaven.
And then she rocked her hips against him as he withdrew and thrust back into her.Nothing felt better than this, with her.
Her inner walls clamped around him.His eyes rolled back as pleasure surged.He pulled out, then pumped back into her.Long slow glides of his body in and out of hers.The sounds she made…they were hot and needy and breathless.Demands for more.Appreciation for how good he made her feel.She made him feel amazing.So good that he quickly reached a fever pitch.But he wanted her to come with him, so he rubbed his thumb over her slick nub and slammed back into her, hard and deep, and she came as he emptied himself inside her.
Fucking feeling like a god, he caught himself on his forearms as he crashed down on top of her, his face in her neck, their breaths sawing in and out.
He was probably crushing her.
The grip she kept on his back told him she didn’t care.
He could stay here, in this bed, the two of them nestled close, all day.
Then he wouldn’t have to see Tanya, or Amy, or anyone else today.
Her fingers sank into his hair and rubbed over his scalp.“Do you want to tell me where you just went?”
He managed to rise enough to stare down at her.Her hair spread out in glorious waves; her kiss-swollen lips were red and soft.He thought about distracting her, but instead told her how he really felt.“I dread going to see Tanya.Every time.I thought it would get easier.It doesn’t.All it does is bring up all those old nightmares.”
“I get that.She hurt you.She allowed you to be hurt.And she’s not exactly warm and sweet to you now.”
No, she wasn’t.And somewhere deep inside him, he wished she were but knew she would never change.But that little kernel of hope still lived inside him, and he hated it, because when Tanya was Tanya, it disappointed him.And he kept coming back because he couldn’t turn his back on someone who needed him.“I want to have a relationship with her, but I’m not sure I can forgive what she did.Not when it doesn’t feel like she’s sorry.Not in a way that I believe she truly means it.”
“But you’re still hoping she’ll give you what you want and deserve.”
He nodded.“But I also know I’m not going to get it.Because she’s not like me.Or I’m not like her.And I guess that’s a good thing.But it also sucks because I care and she doesn’t.Not in a way that makes her want to know me.Not in the sense that it’s about me being her son and that matters.”
She cupped his face.“I’m sorry.I’m sure it hurts.But you matter to me.And I know it’s not the same as having your mother love you the way you deserve to be loved, but you’re not alone.I care.I’m here.I will always be here.”
He brushed his nose against hers and kissed her softly.“You’re everything I ever wanted.”
She smiled softly.“Maybe instead of wishing her to be something she isn’t, accept that you have this chance to help someone who needs it.Let that be enough to soothe your soul.You—despite her and your father—have a kinder, gentler, more loving heart.”She kissed one cheek, then the other, then stared at him again.“They didn’t make you into them.You survived.Even better, you reached even greater heights than you probably would have if you’d stayed with them.You’re happy.She’s not, because she’s alone.”She brushed her hand over his hair, soothing him even more.“Well, she has you.You’re the best thing to ever happen to her.She’s lucky you give her the time of day.”
She floored him.
“How do you put everything into perspective like that?”
“Because I’m on the outside looking in.It’s okay that the broken child in you wishes for that love and healing, so long as the grownup you realizes she’s not capable of giving it to you.”She put her hand over his heart.“Protect that little boy from being hurt again, Fox.Because if you let her, she’ll do it again.”
“Maybe I can’t fix the past, but you and I can have a different kind of future.Right?”
She swept her hand from his chest up to his jaw.“We’re making it right now.You aren’t like them.I’m not her.We care about each other too much to hurt each other.”
He leaned into her hand.“I know you’d never hurt me.”
“I know the same about you.So why are you worried?”
Because I’m keeping something from you.
He should tell her.
But the moment passed.
She raised her head and kissed his lips with a smack.“Relax.Everything is good.I’ll be there with you today.”