Page 21 of Keeping Lilith
No matter how long it took, Julian would fight to help her understand the way he saw her. “You didn’t crumble because you did what you had to do to survive. You haven’t lost theessence of you. I see it. I see you, Lilith Kenny, and I like who I see.”
Chapter Eleven
I see you,Lilith Kenny,and I like who I see.
Julian’s words still floated around her mind two days after he’d said. Two days in which she hadn’t seen him, when she thought she would’ve.
She shouldn’t be sad that he wasn’t around. She should be happy. Wasn’t this what she wanted? To survive on her own with no one as a crutch?
Yes, but she remembered his past. It didn’t matter that he’d had to leave because his boss required he head to the office. When he’d gotten the call, indecision had crossed Julian’s face. Like he wanted to stay with her, but knew he was needed. She’d given him a smile and told him to go.
If she thought about it long enough, her hand still tingled from where he’d given her a squeeze before he’d left. She was being fanciful, of course. She couldn’t really feel anything after two days and countless hand washes, along with two showers.
Lilith shook off the memories of her last encounter with Julian. Whatever he was doing was important, and hopefully, he was safe.
Would he call her when he had a chance? She was now in possession of a cell phone. Cass had put a few contacts in, butLilith hadn’t looked to see who it was. It was more than likely just her and Irish. They were the only people she knew, apart from Julian, and there was no way Cass would’ve put his number in her phone.
Keep telling yourself that. Of course she put Julian’s number in there. You’re just too scared to look.
Her inner rebel practically yelled at her, and like always, Lilith ignored that little niggling voice. Although perhaps if she’d listened to it, she may not have ended up in The Hopeful Sunshine. Part of her had been skeptical after seeing the initial job advert. The desperate side of her, the part that wanted to believe, overruled that warning.
But that was the past. Today she’d join Cass at her workplace—Alliez Security. Lilith didn’t know what she’d do there, but Cass said they needed some help and asked if she was interested.
So far, Lilith’s job hunting hadn’t been successful, so she’d jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house and try something different. It didn’t matter what they asked her to do, she’d do it.
A soft tap at the door had butterflies flaring to life in her belly. “Come in,” she called out.
Cass poked her head around the door. “Hey, that dress looks amazing on you. Are you ready to go?”
Lilith hadn’t known what to wear, but Cass always looked smart, casual, and well put together. She’d rummaged through the meager clothes that she had, thankful that she had any at all, and found a navy-colored dress that flared around her thighs and had cap sleeves. The understated, smart dress was one of the nicest she'd owned. Not to mention the fabric wasn’t scratchy, and it was flattering on her. “Thanks. Did you pick this dress out?”
Cass shook her head. “Nope, it was Eveline. She has great taste. You’ll meet her today. She helps me with the computerstuff but will only work until lunchtime. Then she’ll go home, and Ox will come in. They take turns looking after their son, Oscar. He’s five-months-old.”
“Her husband looks after their child?” The concept was so far out of the realm of Lilith’s understanding. She’d only known men who impregnated women, no longer caring about the children afterward. Unless it was a son, and then they would walk around with their chests puffed out because they’d brought a male into the world, as if they’d been the ones to go through hours of labor with no medication. If the women had a girl, then they would get their “wives” pregnant again to get that son.
“Yep, Ox is a very hands-on father. Once Oscar is a little older, they’ll probably put him in daycare, but for now, they’re sharing the duties.”
“And he’s happy to do that? I suppose he was very proud that he had a son. Someone to carry on his name. A son to teach what their role is in the world, and their importance.”
Cass’s eyes were wide by the time Lilith finished her tirade. Embarrassment crawled over Lilith’s skin. Her bitterness at what she’d been through had come shining through.
“Oh, Lilith. I’m so sorry that you’ve seen the worst of life. I know you probably won’t believe me, but Ox is the opposite of that. Yes, he was proud to have a son, but he would’ve been as equally happy if Oscar had turned out to be a girl. There are days I think he’d give Alliez all away just to stay home with his wife and son. Not all men are like the ones you’ve been exposed to.”
Logically, Lilith knew that there were good people out in the world. And that there were some women who were as bad as the men she’d known, but it was hard to believe everyone she came across didn’t want something in return for the niceness that they were showing her. “I’m sure you’re right,” she eventually responded.
“Come on, let’s go into the office. I’m sure you’re sick of looking at the same rooms.”
Thankfully, Cass didn’t continue the conversation, but regardless of what Cass had said, Lilith didn’t mind looking at the same walls. Now that it was happening, and she was really going into Alliez, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to.
Who would be there?
What would they think of her?
Would they decide she was a stupid woman because she got sucked into a cult again?
“What are you thinking about so hard?” Cass asked, after they’d been driving for a few minutes.
Should she be honest or keep her insecurities to herself?