Page 31 of Keeping Lilith
“While in my mind I designed this place for that very thing, I haven’t had anyone over. Haven’t done anything that I thought I might.”
“Why?” she asked, intrigued by his response. It wasn’t like he didn’t have any friends. With the way Cass spoke about him, clearly he would have had the people from Alliez over a few times. And what about the team he worked on with the FBI? Did he not see them out of work?
“Just never seemed the right time.”
Or he was afraid that even though the people he associated with both at the FBI and Alliez were just that—associates, and not friends. It seemed his scars from his time in Freedom and Love were similar to hers. That feeling of not being worthy of anything good.
Was that why he worked so hard to eliminate as many cults as he could? That was a question for another time. “Fair enough. How about you show me the room you think will suit me?”
Julian inclined his head a fraction, as if he realized what she was doing and appreciated it. “Sure. As I said on the phone, we can also make the other spare room into a reading nook or television room for you. Whatever you want. I don’t need it for anything specific.”
He was going out of his way to make her feel welcome, and she appreciated it more than he would know. Her entire apartment would’ve fit into the kitchen and sitting room of his house. Anything he was prepared to let her use would be appreciated, but she didn’t think she would need anything more than her bedroom. This house had plenty of spaces where she could go if she wanted some quiet time.
She followed Julian down the small hallway off the kitchen/sitting room area, nodding as he pointed to the bathroom that would be hers as he had one off his bedroom.
“Here it is,” he said with a flourish as he opened the door.
The space was surprisingly large, with a queen bed in the center and a bedside table on one side. A large window took up one of the walls, and tucked into a corner was a lounge chair that she could see herself curling up in to think. Maybe even read, something she’d discovered she liked when she’d been living by herself. A rug stretched across the hardwood floor in front of the cozy chair.
“Wow, this is gorgeous.” Lilith ran her hand over the floral comforter, enjoying the feeling of the soft fabric beneath her fingertips. Anything was better than the scratchy blanket she’d used at Hopeful Sunshine.
“There’s a large walk-in closet too.” Julian waved a hand toward a door in the corner.
“I won’t need a lot of space, as I don’t have much.”
“You may not now, but you will once you get yourself settled. It’s been set up with hanging rods and drawers, so there’s no need for a dresser in the room unless you want one. There’s space for it as well.”
Fashion had never been a big thing for Lilith. Even the year she’d had her freedom, she hadn’t fussed about what she wore, partly because she couldn’t afford a lot. And what did she knowabout fashion when she’d been forced to wear the same thing for most of her life? “We’ll see.”
“The room next door is the one I was thinking you could make your own space. It’s empty, as I wasn’t sure what I wanted to use it for.”
“Oh, well, I don’t think I’ll need it.”
Julian shrugged. “You might. Why don’t I leave you to look around, check out this space and the one next door, and see if you’ll feel comfortable here? I’ll be in the kitchen, so when you’re ready, you can come find me.”
Without giving her a chance to respond, he whirled around and left her alone. “That was weird,” she muttered as she sat on the bed. The mattress was firm, but not too firm. Lilith bounced a little on it. No way she’d been able to do this on the cot in her little hut.
Sighing, she flopped back on the mattress and stared at the ceiling. The room was prettier than anything she’d ever slept in. The wall colors were a soft pink that almost looked white. It was warm, and she didn’t feel like an outsider. She felt like she belonged here.
Julian’s house had a welcoming feel, and she didn’t know who had decorated the room. Or had chosen the furnishings, but it had a definite feminine feel Lilith wanted to embrace.
Excitement bubbled through her veins, and she got up from the bed and strode over to the closet door. Opening it, she gasped. The long, wide enclosure had a row of narrow drawers, along with some wider ones and a couple of shelves where she could put her shoes. The hanging section was generous. Whoever had designed it had maximized the space.
Her wardrobe would take up half of one of the three hanging spaces. She’d also only take up one of the wider drawers, if she were lucky. Filling the space would require a lot of shopping, and it would likely never be overflowing.
Walking out, she headed to the spare room, which was empty and the same size as her bedroom. The walls had been painted white with a large black and white geometrical patterned rug in the middle of the hardwood floor and a large window. The rooms were both nice and welcoming, something she couldn’t say about the shitty place she’d lived in the first time she’d been in LA.
Did she deserve all this niceness?
These rooms. This house. They were so far from what she’d been used to her whole life. She half expected someone to storm into the house and drag her away, saying she wasn’t worthy of having nice things.
Lilith pinched her arm, the sting of pain a reminder that she was in control of her life. Her destiny. No one else. There was no way she was going to let herself be sucked back into the pit of living in a cult.
No, this was what she deserved. She could live here, with Julian. He had plenty of space, and if she wanted, she could turn this room into her own little haven, but she didn’t think so. Not at the moment anyway.
Would this be her new home?
Yes, but temporarily until she got on her feet. As weird as it was, staying with Julian sounded more comfortable than staying with Cass and Irish, newlyweds who needed their own space, not a complete stranger living with them.