Page 85 of See It Through
I nodded, wiping my mouth with my napkin. “He does. Smart as a whip. If he doesn’t take to ranching, I’m sure there will be more Kelly grandchildren who will.”
“Time will tell. I only hope I’m around to see it.”
“According to Hannah, you’ll live forever, so I wouldn’t worry about that,” I told her, even though saying her name and repeating words she’d whispered to me when her head had been resting on my pillow felt like rubbing salt into a gaping wound.
“My sweet granddaughter. She loves hard.” She smiled, wistful and soft, before focusing her penetrating gaze back on me. “What about you, Remington? How are you handling being back?”
I answered carefully, conjuring up how I would have replied if I hadn’t just been flayed alive on her granddaughter’s porch.
“It’s…not like I remember. I’m not feeling on edge every second of the day, so that’s good. And I’m appreciating the beauty of the land a lot more.”
“Mmm. There is a lot of beauty. I suspect a lot more than you’ve seen in your career?”
“I’ve been on six continents, Lily. Even when ugliness bled out into the dirt, there was always beauty.”
“But your job wasn’t to focus on that, was it?”
I exhaled slowly through my nose. “No. I’m not a nature photographer.”
“But you could be, couldn’t you? With your talent, you could take pictures of anything, and people would want to see them.”
I tipped my beer toward her, flattered by her compliment. Something told me she didn’t dole them out easily. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not something I’ve tried.”
She folded her manicured hands on the table and leaned in. “Let’s cut to the chase, darling. When will you be going overseas again?”
“I’m not sure. Doc said I needed to heal. I’m not ready to take a chance with an injury. Not yet.”
“But eventually, yes?” she pressed.
I blew out a breath, picked up my burger, and looked at her. “It’s all I know.” But I didn’t take a bite. My stomach dropped low, fast. I tossed the burger down and sat back in my seat, my hand on my twisted gut.
She picked up her glass, giving it a swirl. “Did you know Connell and I were divorced for almost fifteen years?”
“I remember hearing something about that. Didn’t realize it had gone on for so long. I’m glad you and Connell found a way back to each other.”
“We did, though it was me finding my way back to him. He’d always been in the same place.” Her rose-colored lips curved into a slight smile. “We met young, you see. In college, at Savage University—the same school Lachlan and Elena attended. Cormac too. Connell has always been Connell, the son of a rancher who loved the land. I am the daughter of politicians, and I always knew that would be my path. My Connell loved me so very much, he married me and moved to Northern California so I could pursue my career. During that time, we had Lachlan and Saoirse, my daughter, and I worked my tail off. Before Connell and I got married, I’d promised him we’d all eventually move to Wyoming so he could take over the ranch, but I kept pushing back the date until he stopped asking. He took Lachlan and Saoirse to Wyoming for the summers while I stayed behind to work.”
I found myself leaning on my elbows, drawing closer so I didn’t miss her story. “You were a senator?”
“State senator, yes. Mind you, I’d paid my dues and worked my way up to that position, held my seat for the twelve-year term limit. I’m proud of what I accomplished, of course. It would be a crying shame if I wasn’t since I lost my husband and alienated myself from my children.”
“Connell left you because you wouldn’t give up your career?” I asked.
Her lids lowered, long lashes sweeping over her finely lined, velvet cheeks. “Oh, my dear. Connell delayed leaving me for years because he loved me and our family. He wanted the life we’d promised each other, but he needed to be here, on the ranch, and I thought I needed to be in California. Like an idiot, I was so very mad at him for not staying by my side, when, in reality, it was me who didn’t stand by him. I let the love of my life go because I didn’t know how not to be anything but my career.”
“There was no compromise?”
She lifted her glass, almost smirking as she brought it to her lips. “You’re not listening, Remington. Connell did nothing but compromise while I…didn’t. I thought we had time, and I was needed where I was. My ambition and my apathy convinced me I was right. We might have been married, but I’d broken so many promises, I’d made a mockery of our vows. Connell would say he was the one who put the nail in our coffin by getting plastered right here in this bar one lonely night and sleeping with some woman, and boy had I been angry when he’d confessed, but now, with hindsight, I don’t blame him. We’d been dragging around the rotting corpse of our marriage for years, and that had pushed us to lay it to rest.”
“For fifteen years,” I stated, shocked at everything she was telling me. I’d been vaguely aware of some of this, but never the dirty details.
“Fifteenlongyears where I missed my husband every single day. Neither of us dated. We weren’t interested in falling in love with anyone else when we were still very much in love with one another.” Her eyes pinched in a small wince, as if the memory was physically painful.
“But you’re here now. Remarried.”
“We are. It took me a long time to admit I’d screwed up and had driven not just Connell but Lachlan and Saoirse away. I made them all promises I did not see through.” She sighed, weary and mournful. “They say you can never go home, and that is absolutely true, Remington. What you can do, though, is rebuild a new home. It isn’t easy. It took learning humility and humbling myself. I’m lucky my husband is the forgiving sort. I’m lucky he never realized what a catch he is because he could have had the pick of the litter, but he only wanted me.”
“I’m glad for you, Lily.”