Page 103 of Resist
He laughs again. “I do what I can.” He kisses me again. “Thanks for staying in bed this morning.”
I put the phone down and cover his hand with mine. “I had to force myself to lie still. I wanted to get up and make you food, or run a bath for you, or... I dunno, take care of you somehow. But then I realized that the biggest thing I could do to take care of you this morning was probably just stay here so you didn’t think I ran again.”
He nods behind me. “I appreciate it. I admit it was a fear when I first woke up, but then I felt your skin against mine, the rise and fall of your body as you breathed, and it settled any anxiety I was feeling. Thank you.”
“No, thank you. You were amazing last night. I feel so well rested. How about you? How do you feel?”
“I don’t want to move, I’m comfy.” He burrows his face into the space between my neck and shoulder. “Pretty sure I’m going to need to stretch a lot today. That bath sounds good for sure. But I’m clear headed and calm, I feel good.”
“Good.” I squeeze his hand again. “So...” My throat dries up as I try to form a question. “Does this mean we’re dating for real? Married for real? I’m not sure how to define us...”
He somehow moves so I’m on my back, and he’s over me, caging me onto the bed. “Why do we need to be defined? I’m in love with you.” He sweeps his nose against mine, planting a kiss on the crown of my head.
“And I’m in love with you.” My declaration is barely a whisper, but it’s loud enough for him to hear, because he nods.
“Yes, and you’re in love with me.” Another kiss. “I know it’s a weird space for you to be in, you’re scared, it’s daunting. But how about we take it one day at a time?”
“No rules?” My stomach twists. Flying without a net isn’t something I’m good at.
“No rules.” He shakes his head.
“No end date?”
He grins. “Till death do us part, wifey.”
That doesn’t send a bolt of terror through me like I expect. “Chores are negotiable?”
“We’ll get a cleaner.”
I like that he’s thought about this so much that his answers are quick, without hesitation.
“And my last name?”
“It can be whatever you want it to be. I’ll change mine to match yours if you want.”
That seems to catch us both by surprise. His eyes widen at his own announcement. He cants his head to the side like he’s processing what he just said. “I mean it. I can be a Blackwell if you want me to be.”
My heart swells at the offer, especially knowing what my last name represents to him and his family. I’d never ask him to do that. And the fact that he’s willing to so much as consider it makes my eyes fill with tears.
“I wouldn’t let you do that. Hell, I don’t even want to be a Blackwell right now. But I’m not sure yet whether or not I want to be a Montgomery either.”
He laughs. “Always racing ahead. Can’t we give it time? The answer will come to you, stop trying to push yourself into making decisions.”
It’s a foreign concept to me, but I nod, agreeing to give it a shot, because I want this to work for both of us. “What if it doesn’t work?” The fear still gnaws in my gut, niggling at me. Because while I know I’ll never lose Phoenix and Madeline, I don’t really want to lose Sterling either.
“Then we’ll have given it our best shot, and we’ll face that if we get there.”
We stare at each other for a long moment, the sincerity and sureness in his eyes and tone settle some of the anxiety tangling up my insides.
“Together?”
He nods. “Together. Now, can I eat you for breakfast? Or are we not finished having your existential crisis.”
I burst into an out of character fit of laughter, slapping his upper arm playfully. “Shut up. These are important things to talk about. You said it yourself.”
He nods again. “It is. But I’m not going anywhere, said that too. We don’t need to talk about it all in one go. And if it’s okay with you, I’m feeling kind of hungry this morning.” He licks his lips. “And I’d like to have my delicious wife for breakfast.”
Epilogue