Page 11 of Whiskey & Honey
What in the world was I thinking inviting Bentley Sullivan to my apartment? More importantly, why did he accept? He obviously lost his mind when he moved away. It’s the only answer. No, he was abducted by aliens who replaced his brain with someone else’s. Yes, that’s it. That’s what makes sense.
It does.
Don’t question rational thinking.
Okay, fine. Perhaps he wasn’t abducted by aliens. And, perhaps, he hasn’t lost his mind. He was obviously drunk and didn’t know what he was doing last night. There is no actual reason that makes sense as to why he would so openly flirt with me and then kiss me.
A kiss that I swear I can still feel.
A kiss that seemed full of promises and questions equally.
A kiss I have dreamed of most of my life.
A kiss that made me forget stupid Tony and his stupid ideas of relationships.
I’ve been a bundle of nerves all day. Ash was trying hard to avoid the topic and it only made my anxiety worse. Besides the anxiety, it cast this weird vibe over our day and made me uncomfortable around the only person in my life who has never made me feel awkward. After breakfast and a little retail therapy she drove me back to my place.
As I turned to open the door, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked.
“What? No. Why would you say that? I’ve never been mad at you a day in my life.”
“Not true. You didn’t talk to me for two hours when I declared my undying love for Joe Jonas.”
“Hmm. That is true. You knew I was going to marry him and you still called dibs. Uncool, sister friend. Uncool.”
“Yeah well, he proved us both wrong, didn’t he? No ring on either of our fingers.”
“Eh, it’s cool. He couldn’t handle either one of us anyway.”
“I just want to make sure we’re okay. That thing last night with your brother. It was just a random bar thing. No biggie.”
Oh yeah. I’m a liar. Big fat dirty liar.
“I know. I just … I don’t want to see you get hurt again. Ben and Laurel just broke up. You and Tony just broke up. Plus, while my brother is a great guy he does hang out with the douche crew so, you know, birds of a feather and all that. He may pick up on their nasty habits and you don’t need that.”
“Oh please, Ben is definitely one of the good guys. But you’re right. I don’t need to start anything with anyone. Its best we just forget about it. I probably won’t even see him around much.”
It may be best if we all forget last night happened, but there is no way, in this lifetime, I’ll ever forget. I’m just glad I had a breakdown and ran for the sanctuary of the women’s restroom instead of declaring my undying love to Ben. I can’t even imagine the humility that would have followed that kind of proclamation.
I glance at the clock and notice I still have about an hour before Ben said he’d be here. Again, what was I thinking? I wasn’t. Obviously.
I pick my phone up and realize I never turned it back on after the tenth text from Tony while we were shopping. I hit the power button and set the phone back down as I head to the shower. I’m not primping or making an effort. Nope, I just cleaned my place and need to freshen up. Totally not anything special or anything to do with Bentley Sullivan.
Nope. Nothing. Nada.
I take my time in the shower. I mean, I’m here I might as well shave and deep condition my hair. It’s absolutely all about efficiency. Nothing to do with Ben.
I almost believe myself.
A little pep talk in the shower calms me down enough to think rationally about tonight. This is my best friend’s brother. Practically my brother growing up. We were both drinking, he didn’t know it was me, I was sad. All a big misunderstanding.
I’m going to keep tonight casual. No candles burning, no music, no effort. I grab a pair of my soft-as-butter leggings, a loose-fitting top, and my favorite fuzzy socks. Really sealing the casual, no-effort look is my messy bun with toweled-dried hair and only a little mascara and some gloss for makeup.
I have managed to use up thirty minutes. Perfect. I light a candle on the mantle - strictly for the scent, not the ambience, obviously. I’m still not putting music on or putting forth any effort. Two out of three shower plans is better than none.
I have a few minutes to spare so a little glass of courage or, as regular people not about to discuss a life-altering kiss with their best friend’s brother call it, Chardonnay.