Page 15 of Toy Boy
“Yeah, you too. And if he comes near you again…”
“Go to work, Josh.”
As soon as he’s out of the door I breathe a sigh of relief, but what happened just there, it was inevitable. At least it’s over now. It’s done.
“Everything alright?” Hanna asks as she places a pile of pancakes and a banana and kiwi fruit smoothie on the serving hatch.
“Everything’s fine. What about you, though? You look a little distracted.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I…”
“No, it wasn’t meant as a criticism. I just meant, you don’t look your usual, happy self, that’s all. Is something up?”
“I’m just being stupid. Ignore me.”
I look at her. “Anything you want to talk about?”
She shakes her head and smiles. “No. Not really.”
“Well, you know where I am if you change your mind.”
“Thanks, Megan.”
I’m quite happy to listen to someone else’s problems, it might take my mind off my own… No. Scott Warren isn’t a problem. An irritation, maybe, but when I told Josh I wasn’t going to let that man get under my skin again, I meant it. Scott is my past. And whatever it is he’s looking for, from me, I won’t let him play the even the smallest part in my future. I won’t let that happen…
5
Scott
The hospital is my haven. It was before I left Beachcastle Bay, and it is again, now I’m back. This is where I’m at my best, doing a job I love. Saving lives. Like I saved Megan’s. But I can’t save them all, sometimes I fail. Sometimes I don’t win the fight, and that fucking kills me. Megan has me down as this cold, emotionless person but she’s wrong. I make mistakes. I fuck up, I’m not perfect. And despite what she thinks, I never pretended to be. But… Yeah. Okay. When it came to her, maybe I made more mistakes than I should’ve done; acted in ways I should have thought twice about. I’m seeing that now. Suddenly it’s crystal fucking clear.
Leaning back against my desk, I drop my head and sigh quietly, dragging a hand back through my hair. The past couple of years have been tough. Really tough. Fucking dark, to be honest. Europe had been a welcome distraction from all the shit that had gone on here in Beachcastle; from Megan. I’d taken that post in Denmark because I’d needed distance; time to breathe… Jesus, who the hell am I kidding? I took that job because the money was too good to turn down, and the timing couldn’t have been any better. I’d liked it over there, too. I’d been considering making it permanent, but circumstances change. Things happen. Shit goes down and suddenly that new life I’d been thinking about starting, it was gone. Finished. My decision, but the only one I could’ve made.
A knock on my office door drags me from my thoughts, and I glance up, taking a second to pull myself together. “Come in.”
“Hey. Just thought I’d stop by and see how you’re settling back in. How are you finding your new role?”
Mark Ryland, a fellow surgeon, leans against the doorpost, his hands in his pockets, a friendly smile on his face. We went to medical school together, worked together here in this hospital before I left for Denmark. I’ve known him a long time, and it’s nice to be back amongst people I’m familiar with.
“It’s good, thank you. I’ve spent most of my time, so far, familiarising myself with the old place again, but I’ve a couple of surgeries lined up for tomorrow.”
“It’s great to have you back, Scott.”
“Is it?”
He frowns, and I realise I said that out loud, I hadn’t meant to.
“I’m sorry, ignore me. I just – I saw Megan this morning.”
He sighs quietly, because it’s still uncomfortable, quite obviously, for anyone in Beachcastle to hear me talk about Megan. It was difficult for our friends, when our marriage ended the way it did, neither of us wanted them to choose sides. But some of them did, and in the beginning, a lot of them chose hers.
“She seems well,” I continue, and Mark looks at me. And nods.
“She is. Look, Scott, it’s probably not my place to be handing out advice, but, just give her time. Okay? Time to get used to you being back.”
“What she said about me – those things she accused me of…”
“There’s no need to drag all of that back up again. It’s time to start a new chapter.”