Page 16 of Toy Boy
“Yes. Yes, it is.”
He wants an end to that conversation just as much as I do, so I’m grateful when he changes the subject, moving on to much more comfortable territory.
“We heard great things, about your work in Denmark.”
Well. Mildly more comfortable. “It was an interesting time. I learnt a lot.” More than I wanted to. “But it’s nice to be home.”
“James Carter wanted to keep you up in Edinburgh, apparently. From what I’ve heard he was sorry to lose you.”
“I only ever intended to use that as a stop-gap. James knew my position there was temporary.”
“He tried to tempt you, though. With an exceptional offer, I gather.”
“It wasn’t an easy one to turn down. But it was always my intention to come back to Beachcastle, I love this hospital. This is where I want to carry on my work.”
“Well, it really is good to have you back. You’ve been missed.” Mark smiles. So do I.
“Thank you, Mark.”
It was time to come home. I still have a lot of unfinished business here, and I hate loose ends… Is that what I think Megan is? A loose end? No. She’s more than that. So much more. She’s my redemption…
“Listen, Scott, a few of us are going to Luccio’s after work, you should join us. Everyone’s really looking forward to seeing you again.”
“I’d love to, but I’m still settling into the new house, and the new job, and I have a ton of paperwork to catch up on, so… Maybe nearer the weekend?”
“Okay. Let’s make sure we do that.”
“Tell everyone I said hello. I’m looking forward to catching up with them all at some point.”
“You will. At the weekend.” He throws me another smile. “You have a good night.”
“You too.”
I wait until he’s closed the door behind him, and then I let out a long sigh of relief. Why am I finding it so hard to talk to people I still consider to be friends?AmI still their friend? I thought coming home was a good idea. I thought coming back here was the right thing to do; that I’d fall straight back into a familiar routine. I thought Megan would’ve thawed towards me; that time and distance would’ve done their job, but I’m wrong. I’m home, yes, but it feels like I’m looking in from the outside at something I’m not a part of anymore.
Sitting down behind my desk I pull out the top drawer and take out a photograph of me and Megan, on our wedding day. She looks stunning in a strapless, ivory-coloured sheath dress, no veil, just a few yellow and cream flowers pinned into her short, blonde hair. The smile on her beautiful face is wide and bright as she looks into my eyes, it was a moment of pure happiness. I can remember it as if it were yesterday. Less than two years after that photograph was taken we’d separated. A cruel whirlwind of so much shit I can’t even remember what the catalyst was, just Megan accusing me of things I don’t think were fair. Was I really that bad a man? Maybe I was. Maybe Iwasall of the things she told me I was. Or maybe she just couldn’t deal with a man like me.
Laying the photograph back down in the drawer, I push it shut and get up, grabbing my jacket from the hook on the back of the door, and my suitcase from the floor. Time to go home, to a house that’s still far too big for just me. An evening of paperwork and unpacking lies ahead, while I find a way to try and get through to Megan. Because I’m not giving up. I don’t know how many real friends I still have left in this town, but I know it’s where I need to be. And Megan, she’ll see that, one day. She’ll see that…
Megan
The Swan is one of the prettiest pubs in Beachcastle Bay, and just a stone’s throw away from the café, which is why it’s far too easy to just ‘pop’ in here on the way home for a quick drink and a catch-up with friends. Situated right on the edge of the beach, it’s sea and harbour-view terrace is always popular in the summer months, and tonight it’s almost full because it’s a warm and sunny evening. Perfect for sitting outdoors, looking out to sea, enjoying a cold pint or a long, cool gin and tonic.
“Grab a table, I’ll get the drinks. What are you having?”
“The usual.”
“Food?”
“Order me the vegetarian chilli and a side salad.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
My sister, Laney, heads inside and I find a table out on the terrace, one that’s, thankfully, underneath a very welcome, over-sized parasol. It’s good to finally sit down after another busy day at the café. The warm, early summer weather has brought an influx of visitors to the town – a little more than we usually see at this time of year – with most of the holiday cottages already booked out and the hotels and B&Bs doing brisk business for this early in the season. But none of us are complaining. I love being around people, chatting to everyone from our regulars to first-time visitors, that’s why I love my job. My little business.
Sitting back in my chair I shield my eyes with my hand and look out over the beach, which is still surprisingly busy, considering it’s coming up to seven-thirty now. But there are quite a few people out there grabbing the last of the sun’s rays, playing frisbee or football; kids building sandcastles, and it all feels wonderfully calm. I’m surrounded by happy chatter, the mood’s laid-back, and my shoulders are relaxing by the second. Scott Warren is but a distant memory right now, and that’s how I intend to keep him, for tonight, at least.
“There you go.” Laney sits down and slides a gin and tonic towards me.