Page 55 of Toy Boy
“Busy. You?”
I’m not going to tell her I saw Megan today. I don’t think she needs to know that, and I don’t really want to talk about it.
“Well, unlike you I haven’t been at work, so, my day’s been pretty relaxing. A little bit of retail therapy in town, a walk along the beach… Most consultants don’t work weekends.”
“I’m not most consultants.”
She smiles a slow smile, her eyes still fixed on mine. “No. You most definitely are not.”
I’m not entirely sure what’s happening here, to be honest. Is she flirting with me? Am I suddenly incapable of reading the signs now? Or am I very much aware that they’re there, and I’m just trying to ignore them…?
“I had a really nice time at your party, Scott.”
“I’m glad. Most people seem to have enjoyed it, so, it couldn’t have been all that bad.”
“It wasn’t. But I’m still guessing that the only person who didn’t have a great time was you.”
Our eyes remain locked, and now I remember why I was dangerously attracted to this woman all those years ago. She’s exceptionally beautiful, unbelievably forthright, and the kind of person you’d always want in your corner. But she isn’t Megan. Nobody’s Megan. And that’s a huge fucking problem for me.
“All work and no play, Scott. Remember?”
“I don’t have time to play, Tania.”
She waves a dismissive hand in the air, and scoffs rather too loudly. “Rubbish! Evenyouhave to switch off for a little while, otherwise you’ll burn yourself out.”
I need the distraction that work gives, but telling Tania that is only going to bring on another lecture about finding time to step back and take a moment. Which is exactly what I’m trying to avoid.
“I relax.”
“When?” she asks, in a rather accusatory tone, because it’s quite obvious she doesn’t believe me.
“At home. I read, listen to music, sometimes I watch TV.”
She leans forward, resting an elbow on her thigh, her chin in her upturned palm. “You’re telling me what you think I want to hear, aren’t you?”
“And why would I do that?”
She sits back, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs. “I don’t know. To make me shut up? In the hope I’ll go away?”
I laugh, and I shake my head because I don’t want that. “I want you to stay, Tania. I just don’t want you to lecture me.”
She holds her hands up. “Okay. Lecture over. But maybe you need to realise that there are some people out there who really do care about you.”
I look at her, and I smile. “Doyoucare about me?”
“Yes. I do.”
Oh, shit, I’m not sure I should’ve done that. Asked that. Did it sound like some sort of come on?
“Anyway…”
I think I need to move this on now. Avoid any unnecessary conversations.
“I should go and order our food.”
“In a minute. Look, Scott, can I ask you something?”
“As long as it isn’t anything about my methods of relaxation.”