Page 56 of Toy Boy

“It isn’t. I just – I know that you being back here, I know it must be weird, what with Megan and everything, but…”

“It isn’t weird. It’s fine.”

It’s not. It really isn’t. But Tania doesn’t need to know that.

“Okay.” She smiles, but I can tell she’s trying to say something, and I know that I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to have to let her down or tell her I don’t think of her in that way, I really don’t want to have to do that.

“I’m your friend, Scott. That’s all I’m trying to say, and friends, they look out for each other. They spend time together, and contrary to what some people might think – including you, I can see the fear in your eyes that I might start coming onto you…”

“There’s no fear,” I laugh.

“There is! You had the look of a man who’s about to head to the gallows!”

I can’t help laughing again, and then she laughs too, and the atmosphere lightens, and I feel like a weight’s been lifted.

“We can be friends, Scott. We can spend time together, and it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“I know.”

Maybe she’s right. Maybe I shouldn’t push people away just because they aren’t Megan. There’s no reason why I have to stop living just because Megan is still out of reach, it won’t be that way for long.

“So, are you going to order that food or not? I’m starving!”

I pick up the menus, throw her a smile, and push my chair back. “Another drink?”

“Bring a bottle back.”

And all of a sudden an evening alone has turned into something I didn’t know I wanted, until it happened, and I look at Tania, and my smile widens. “Thank you.”

She sits back and pulls her sunglasses down over her eyes. “For what?”

“For just being you.”

She smiles too, and as I head inside, I realise that having someone want me again is a nice feeling. Nice enough for me to forget about Megan? No.

This is what she’s done to me.

Megan Flowers.

I saved her life. Now I need her to save mine…

12

Megan

I wasn’t prepared to do the ‘walk of shame’, not in this town. There are too many people up and about too early – this is a fishing village after all – for me to risk starting gossip I’d rather not be the subject of. And it isn’t like I didn’t want to spend the night with him, I did. Oh, God, I really did! I just – I couldn’t. Not yet. But sleeping with someone, and then upping and leaving in the middle of the night… I haven’t done that since I was in my teens. Which is probably why I feel like I’m suddenly seventeen again, and it’s not an altogether bad feeling, actually. It’s also probably why I can’t stop smiling.

Staring at my reflection, I run my fingers lightly over my cheek, do I look different this morning? Is my skin suddenly brighter?Tighter?Now wouldn’tthatbe a great advantage of having sex with a man sixteen years my junior? Xander Johansson. Hot-as-hell antidote to middle-aged lines. Not that I had too many lines in the first place, I think I’ve been blessed with half-decent genes, but I certainlyfeeldifferent.

Quickly dabbing on a touch of cream blush, a coat of mascara, and a layer of nude lip gloss, I run my fingers through my hair and rush downstairs, I’m running late. Okay, I’m the boss, I don’t technically have to be in first thing, my team open up, they always have done. I just like to be there early, but today that’s not going to happen. I don’t even have time to grab a quick cup of tea before I’m heading back out of the house, having slept a little too deeply after returning from Xander’s, and sleeping through my alarm.

Xander Johansson.

Just thinking his name brings the biggest smile to my face as I head down over the grass verge opposite the small row of pastel-colored terraced cottages, towards the sea front. I’m picking up the pace, but I don’t want to go too quickly, I’m enjoying reliving the memories of red hot kisses and the kind of sex I haven’t had since – well, never, really. Until last night.

Goosebumps spring up all over my skin as I remember his hard body pressed against mine; his hands trailing over my hips, my thighs; his fingers touching me, pushing inside me, and I shiver as I pass the long row of souvenir shops, fish and chip restaurants, and amusement arcades that line the route along the sea front as I get closer to the harbour. Despite it still being early it’s already warming up out here and I’m shivering. And it’s the most incredible feeling!

“You look happy this morning.”