Page 84 of Toy Boy
The sun is finally starting to dip and the air’s a little cooler now, which is welcome. It was starting to get real stuffy inside, but out here there’s a gentle breeze which is helping to keep the temperature down.
Megan’s leaning over the railings that surround this outdoor terrace, staring out over the beach and the sea, and I go over to her, gently nudging her shoulder as I sidle up alongside her. She turns her head and smiles at me, and I lean over to drop a kiss on her pale pink lips. She tastes of champagne, and as she lays a hand on my hip, pressing her mouth against mine, the overriding feeling I have is one of wanting to get out of here, both of us, to somewhere a lot more private than this. I want to be alone with her. Just the two of us. And I really need those feelings to disappear, otherwise they’re going to fuck everything up.
Are they, though?
Yes.
If she doesn’t feel the same way…
“Hey.”
I smile and hand her a gin and tonic. “Hey back.” I match her stance, resting my arms on the wooden railing as we both look out over the almost empty beach. “I’ve just bumped into Scott. Literally.”
She keeps her gaze focused straight ahead, she doesn’t look at me. Doesn’t flinch. “He’s here with Tania.”
“Who’s Tania?”
She turns around and leans back against the railings, resting her elbows on them. “The woman you were talking to, at the bar, not ten minutes ago.”
“Oh, okay. I don’t remember her telling me her name.”
I don’t, actually. I’m not lying.
“She works for the hospital Trust.” She turns her head away from me for a second, and when her eyes meet mine again she smiles, her shoulders raising slightly in a kind of semi-shrug. “Apparently, Tania and Scott once had a bit of a “thing”,” she says, her fingers mimicking quotation marks, accompanied by an eye-roll. “Greta just told me.”
“In the past, you mean?”
She nods, and looks away again.
“Were you and him married, when they had this “thing”?”
“Yep.” She looks at me. “I knew about most of the women. Not all of them.”
I raise an eyebrow. “How many did he have?”
Another shrug. A bigger one this time. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think he was some kind of rampant Romeo or anything, he just craved attention. He loved being idolised. Loved having women fall at his feet. I didn’t idolise him, not in the way he wanted me to. Not in the way he thought I should.”
“Even though he saved your life?”
Her eyes burn into mine. “I loved him. That should’ve been enough.”
She takes a sip of her drink and once more turns her head in the other direction.
“Does it bother you?”
When she looks at me this time her eyes narrow. “Doeswhatbother me?”
“Your ex, turning up with a woman you now know he cheated on you with?”
I’m not entirely sure why I had to ask that question out loud when I already know the answer. Of course it bothers her, it’s obvious. And that bothersme.
“Why the hell would it bother me?”
I’m not sure she really wants an answer to that, so I leave it there. This is a conversation that could quite easily develop into something I don’t want it to become, so I think it’s best we don’t continue it. And I’m guessing she feels the same way too, because she’s angled her body around so she’s facing me, and she smiles and reaches out to cup my cheek, and I cover her hand with mine.
“I’m sorry, Xander. And I know we can’t exactly get away from the fact Scott’s here, but let’s just try to ignore him. Okay?”
“Sounds good to me.”