Page 16 of Alfie: Part One
“Trip forgotted his swim goggles!”
“It’s forgot, not forgotted, dummy.”
“Hey, be nice to your sister, Trip.”
Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I shot right up automatically, and I cleared my throat and ran a hand through my hair. Shit, shit, what was I gonna do? I couldn’t very well ignore—wait. Why did I care, again?
“Daddyyyy!”
Right.
Deep breaths.
I rubbed at my chest and excused myself for a moment, and then I stalked out of the living room and out into the hallway, where I came to an abrupt stop in front of the mirror. Fuck me, I guessed we were just revealing fucking everything today, huh?
I didn’t have to care. But I did. It was going to take a while to get used to showing this side of me that I’d suppressed for too long. Also, fuck West for doing this. He could’ve bought Trip a new pair of goggles, but no, now he had to push shit.
Shirtless and with two mobsters sitting on my couch, I unlocked the door and opened it to reveal my kids and my ex-husband.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Hi, Daddy!” Ellie rushed forward and threw her arms around my middle, and Trip slipped by and darted up the stairs. “Eeep! Sweaty!”
Meanwhile, I got stuck on West. And his stare. His surprise. His utter fucking dumbfounded…ness. Was that a word? Dumbfoundity?
He broke the stare first. Dropped it to my chest. He couldn’t hide his shock, but he sure tried. His jaw ticked with tension, and I knew I’d pissed him off somehow.
I don’t care, I don’t care, I’m pretending I don’t care, fuck you for not loving me back anymore, I don’t care.
“Hey, honey.” I kissed the top of Ellie’s head. “I guess youse’re off to a water park?”
“No, just the pool at home, but Trip needs his goggles,” she replied frankly and passed me. “Oh! Um, hi. Who are you? Who are they, Daddy?”
Fuck, shit, all right. Rolling with the punches.
I ran a hand through my hair, and I almost lost my shit. My brain was suddenly screaming at me.Why did West come, what do I tell Finn and Kellan, how do I respond, how will this affectmy parenting relationship with West, how much can I divulge, what have I signed up for, what do I really want?—
“This is my friend Kellan and my cousin Finn,” I heard myself say.
Motherfucker, you said what?
Finn smiled, looking neither surprised nor displeased. “How you doing, hon? You must be Ellie.”
Ellie turned shy in a heartbeat and plastered herself to my thigh. “Hi.” She looked up at me next. “Have I met him before, Daddy?” she whispered. Not very quietly.
I chuckled and combed my fingers through her unruly hair. “You have not, baby girl. We’re just, uh…reconnecting, I guess you can say.”
“Hopefully, there’ll be a lot of that in the future,” Finn said.
I made eye contact with him, and I nodded once. Yeah. Fuck it. I hoped so too.
I really did.
“Okay, we’re gonna go swimming in Daddy’s pool now,” Ellie announced. “Bye!” With that said, she ran back to the hallway, where West waited in the doorway. He’d seen Finn and Kellan, but he made no move. He wasn’t interested in introductions. Or eye contact. He poured all his focus into Ellie and picked her up.
“Did you find your goggles, son?” he called.