Page 87 of Bean
And that was a triumph in itself.
But I was second-guessing myself now. Chicken and dumplings wasn’t exactly the meal of grand romance, and Ididn’t have a long history to draw upon. Gio and I confessed our love for each other with a belly full of Thai sticky wings while buzzed out of our minds on poppers.
I’d woken up the next day with a sore asshole, hickeys all over my chest, and a note from Gio saying he would be moving his stuff in next week. I remembered a sense of dread and then deciding not to give a shit because I figured it would be nice to have a warm body to come home to.
The love—whatever kind of love he and I shared—had come after, and it hadn’t lasted long.
It was going to be different with Bean.
“And I’ve lost you again.”
I shook myself out of my thoughts. “Sorry. It just feels like everything I want to do is so…pathetic. Like I’m playing pretend in a grownup’s life.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s all adulting really is,” Andrei said quietly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I still have the urge to send one of those folded-up hearts to…uh…someone I like with checkboxes that sayDo You Like Me, Check Yes or No.”
I choked on a laugh. I knew exactly who he meant, and I would have paid money to see the look on Ivy’s face when she got that note. She’d probably frame it and put it on her desk.
“Look, for what it’s worth, since I’ve never met this guy, I don’t think Bean is going to care if you make him a five-course Anthony Bourdain-approved meal or if you show up with a stale box of Popeye’s chicken and drool on him before confessing your love. I think all he’s going to care about is that it’s you and that you’re being honest about how you feel.”
I wanted that to be true. I wanted to believe Andrei had the secrets to the universe and that I could calm down and let things happen with all the faith that it would work out.
And I might have been able to if it wasn’t for the sense of doom sitting at the base of my spine.
“Stop making that face,” Andrei ordered.
I tried to smile and he looked so horrified, I stopped. “This is going to be a disaster.”
“I don’t think you’re right about that. I think?—”
His words were cut off by the sound of the bell, and I realized it was Bean. He was early, but only by about ten minutes. I’d spent too much time screwing around and panicking that I hadn’t even brushed my hair.
I attempted to finger-comb it, but Andrei stood and yanked me off the couch, giving me a shove toward the bathroom. “Go. I’ll meet my future brother-in-law, and you can make yourself presentable.”
Before I could stop him, he was at the door, opening it with a grin.
I could see Bean past his shoulder, his brows dipped in a low frown. His eyes were darting from Andrei’s face down to his feet, then back up again. “I—I think I have the wrong house.”
“No, sunshine, you don’t,” I called out in a rush. Fuck my hair. Who cared how I looked. None of it mattered when seeing his face made me feel like all was right in the world. I walked over and pushed Andrei to the side. “This is my annoying older brother. He wanted to meet you.”
Bean’s entire body relaxed and he offered a bright smile. “Oh. He looked familiar but not familiar enough, and I started to panic.”
I reached for him, pulling him past the threshold. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew he was still iffy about public affection, so I squeezed his wrist instead. “It’s good to see you.”
He licked his lips. “Yeah. It’s really good to see you.”
We got lost in each other’s eyes for too long. Andrei eventually cleared his throat, and I snapped out of it, turning. “Andrei, this is Bean. Bean, Andrei.” I froze. “Wait. Do you want me to introduce you as Mer?—”
“No,” Bean said swiftly, stopping me before I could get his full name out. “Bean’s good. Bean’s great.”
“I like it. It’s really unique,” Andrei said, sticking out his hand. “I have no cool nickname to offer.”
Bean laughed as he shook my brother’s hand. “Hang out with me and the guys long enough, and you’ll get one. Believe me.”
Andrei preened. “Is that an invitation?”
“No,” I said as Bean said, “Of course.”
Our gazes connected, and he laughed. “Come on. I think your brother would fit in.”