Page 13 of Shadow of Death

“I’m going to ask Buddie or Rastin to stay at the cabin with you while I’m gone. Maybe both, or maybe they’ll take turns.”

His face smoothed out as he gave it a minute of thought. He nodded, shrugging his little shoulders. “Okay.”

“Okay? You’re good with that?” I had all sorts of comforting lines at the ready, and then bribes of goodies when I got back—if I got back. Yet he seemed to already be bouncing back?

“Yeah,” he said, and then patted my hand. “You’ll come home. You always come back for me. I’m not worried. Can I go to Max’s now?” He glanced over to where his friend had dropped out of the tree and was heading our way.

Myinsides were a frayed, ripped-apart mess, but apparentlyhewas going to roll with this just fine. It helped to know he’d be okay, but not enough to fix me. My insides felt like they’d been run through the garbage disposal, but I’d do whatever would make him happy.

“As long as he asked his mother,” I said, trying to keep control of my emotions. He was okay. Breaking out into a mess of tears would only upset him. I’d let him go to his friend’s and then go hide and cry.

“He did.” Charlie was already running off toward Max.

“Okay, then.”

I’d blocked out the rest of the day for consoling Charlie, but he was fine.Iwas the mess.Iwas the one who needed to be coddled. It looked as ifIwere the one who needed a distraction.

The sound of a bike roaring drew my attention. A distraction had just presented itself. I wound my way farther down the hill to the main garages, situated near the top of the road and close to the entrance of pack territory.

There, standing beside Edgar the mechanic, was Kicks. He was turning the handle on a motorcycle, revving the engine.

“Did you hear that, Edgar?” he asked as he stopped.

“Yeah. Sounds like it’s running rough.” Edgar was the only mechanic we had and was worth fifty of his kind. There wasn’t a thing he didn’t seem capable of fixing. It might’ve been because he liked machines so much better than people. “Not a problem. I’ll take it for a spin and test it out.”

This was the most I’d heard Edgar speak since I’d been here. I wasn’t sure he even spoke to his mate this much.

“We’ll get it fixed up.” Edgar nodded at me and then rode off on the bike.

Kicks turned to me, his gaze sharp. “You told Charlie.”

I looked over to the trees, hating how he could read the hurt on me like I was standing there with a knife protruding from my chest.

“Yeah. I’m good. He took it well.” As soon as I said it, I could hear the defensiveness in my voice. Not like I’d been fooling him anyway.

He nodded, not arguing with me.

“I actually came to find you for a reason. If we have to travel, I want to be able to ride my own bike.” If it was just going to be me and him, the more space in between us, the better.

Kicks’ stare deepened as he hesitated for a moment. “I’m not disagreeing that it would be good if you knew how to ride, but there’s a strong chance we’re going to be doing long days. It’ll be a hard ride.”

Hard ride.Those were the words that made my brain glitch, exactly what I was trying to avoid.

“I’ll be fine,” I said, trying to inject as much confidence into my voice as possible, even if I had to fake it.

Kicks gave me a long, searching look before nodding. “Okay. If you want to try it.” He walked to another bike, all of them with keys in the ignition, and rolled it over to me. “Get on.”

I walked over and took a seat. He pushed up the kickstand, and the bike was way heavier than I’d thought it would be.

“You’ve ridden a regular bike before, right?” Kicks asked.

“Yes.”

He gave me a run-through of all the instruments—how to accelerate, brake, shift—and then stepped back. “Don’t go too fast. Take it slow until you get the feel for it.”

I nodded and took a deep breath.

As soon as I turned the handle, the bike surged forward way faster than I’d expected. My heart went up into my throat, and my hands tightened on the grips. I lost control almost immediately and then tried to jerk the handlebars to the side to stop from hitting a tree. The bike went flying forward on its side one way, and I followed.