Page 36 of Flawless

“That was a long time ago, Z. You can’t spank me if I lie. I don’t belong to you anymore.”

“Did you ever?”

My chest tightens, and I look away from him.

“You know that I did.”

Zenon turns away from me, and I have the feeling that he’s working really hard not to allow me to pull him into an argument. But for some reason, I’m now in a pissy mood, and I want nothing more than to argue.

I watch as he does the same thing that I just did.

“Hey, don’t walk away from me.”

“I think you need to take that walk that you were considering taking.”

“And that’s another thing. You don’t tell me what to do!”

“Dani, I’m not trying to tell you what to do. But I am getting the feeling that you’re not in a good space right now. If you’re trying to start a fight, I don’t want to do that with you.”

“What do you want from me?”

“The truth.”

“What truth?”

“About you and me. Why it was so hard to give to me what I could clearly see that you wanted.”

Shaking my head, I say, “I didn’t deserve it. Besides, you deserved better than someone like me.”

Zenon takes two quick strides back to me. Gripping my chin between his index finger and thumb, he says, “You can’t tell me what I did and didn’t deserve. The one thing that I did deserve was the truth. Why did you play me the way that you did, Dani?”

“I didn’t play you, Z.”

“I’m talking about the day of the game.”

Closing my eyes as my heart squeezes in my chest about that painful day, I’m overcome with emotion.

“I knew that you would eventually come around to that. I didn’t play you, and you deserve the truth. Since the day you walked out of your bedroom, that’s all I wanted to do was tell you the truth, but I didn’t know how.”

“What version of it?” he asks bitterly.

“Come with me,” I say, walking towards the kitchen again.

Heading straight for the deck, I open the doors and don’t look back to see if he follows me.

I grip the railing and look out onto the street. Big, leafy palm fronds wave at passersby walking on the street either to or from the beach.

I close my eyes, willing myself to face the truth as I know it, though it’s often hard. Right now, I want nothing more than to have a drink to ease my guilty conscience and to give me the courage to have the conversation I need to have.

Yet, I know that a drink would be in direct conflict with what I’m trying to do. In fact, it would trivialize the message I want to convey.

When Zenon finally steps out onto the deck, he leans on the railing beside me.

“I came here to continue my healing, Z. I’ve spent ninety days working my ass off to find the better version of myself. The true me. The last time that I visited this cottage was with you six years ago. I’ve hired workers to come in and clean it monthly, but the last time someone cleaned was four months ago.”

“I noticed that it had been a while since someone visited when I first arrived. I cleaned the place up and took care of a few things.”

Turning to him, I smile. “Thank you.”