Page 36 of Jackass

“Jack,” I whispered.

“No, Sammy. Not now.”

I sat up, pulling the sheet up with me. My hand reached out and landed on Jack’s back. Jerking at my touch, he pulled away from me and stood.

“Jack, please let me explain,” I begged.

Jack stared at me in silence. His face was blank. I didn’t know if he was angry, sad, disappointed. It could be any of those and a hundred other emotions. He wouldn’t let me see any of them.

I scooted to the end of the bed when he walked over to grab his clothes. He pulled his jeans on while I sat there watching him. Waiting for him to say or do something—anything. He left the rest of his clothes on the floor and moved to the door.

“Jack,” I cried. “We need to talk about this.”

He stopped at the door with his hand on the knob. I stood from the bed and walked to him. Holding the sheet tight against me, I touched his arm.

“Jack.”

He shrugged my hand off, opened the door, and walked out.

Now I was mad. He wanted answers until I tried to give him those answers. Then, like every other time, he walked away.

Well, not this time.

I dropped the sheet and grabbed one of his T-shirts. It was long enough to hide my body from whoever else was in the main room.

I yanked the door open and stormed from the room. No more hiding. No more running. That included Jack.

I hurried down the stairs. Running into the main room, I noticed there were bikers and club girls everywhere, as well as the two old ladies.

“You’re a fucking coward, Jack!” I screamed.

No one moved.

No one said a word.

Jack turned around to glare at me.

“You said we needed to talk. You said we needed privacy. Well, fuck privacy!” I yelled.

“Samantha, now might not be—” King started.

“No, King. Now is the perfect time.” Turning back to Jack, I continued, “You said you wanted to know why I didn’t tell you, why I lied to you. But every time I try to tell you, you walk away from me, or you fuck me.”

I knew my daughter was in the room. I didn’t care anymore. He needed to hear everything.

“We can do this right now, in front of everyone. I know you’ll tell them, anyway. This way, there is no confusion about the facts.”

“Sammy,” Jack warned.

“I got married at eighteen. He was ten years older than me, and he made me feel important. I didn’t have a tragic childhood. My parents were a normal middle-class couple. They were ordinary. I was ordinary.”

I took a deep breath.

“Derek made me feel extraordinary. He was attentive. He showered me with affection. Things were great for the first two years of our marriage. We talked about the future, about having a family. Only, I couldn’t get pregnant. We tried for over a year and nothing.”

I stood there, baring my soul to this man, and he showed menothing.

“He changed when I asked about getting tested. I wanted to know why we weren’t successful. He simply said we would keep trying.”