Page 340 of His Hungry Wolf

“So?”

Evan flinched painfully. It confused me even more.

“I was so insecure back then. I hadn’t shifted for the first time. I hadn’t found my pack yet. I was still trying to figure things out. But, when I first saw you, I knew I liked. All I wanted was to talk to you.

“I couldn’t talk to you, though, because I couldn’t talk to anyone. At least not easily. I would open my mouth and what was in my head wouldn’t come out. And even when it did, I would stutter.

“But I really liked you and could barely get you out of my mind, so for weeks I practiced what I would say to you. “Hey Kendall, I really like your art. Hey Kendall, I really like your art.” I said it a thousand times before I walked up to you in art class. But when I was standing in front of you…”

“You just stared at me making that motion like you were going to throw up,” I suddenly remembered.

“I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. I had practiced so many times and I was trying so hard.”

“And I responded by… shitting on you,” I admitted.

“You said ewww and told me to get away from you…”

Evan froze as if locked in a stutter. He fought to say the words.

“…You… you… creeper,” he finally spit out.

It all came rushing back to me. Now I understood. Evan was a stutterer.

“I didn’t know. I hadn’t seen you stutter before.”

“I worked really hard to hide it. But, when I got nervous, it… came out,” he spit. “But, I liked you. I just wanted to tell you that I liked you. And what you said destroyed me. But that’s not all you did. Because the next time I saw you there was something different about you. I couldn’t explain it but it disturbed me. It affected me at the deepest level.

“Eventually I mentioned it to my dad. He told me he had known about you for a long time and explained what you were and what you had done. He told me that you had cast it so I wouldn’t smell you. He said you were disgusted by the way I talked and wanted me to stay away from you.

“Knowing what you had done, and why, hurt me more than I knew what to do with. I hated you so much after that.”

“Evan, I’m sorry I made fun of you for stuttering. I didn’t know. But I didn’t know about the spell. I didn’t cast it consciously. I didn’t even know what I was.”

“Consciously, unconsciously, does it matter? You put it up to keep me away from you.”

The realization of what Evan was telling me flicked on like a light. As soon as it did, everything that happened made sense.

“Wait, you’re gay?”

Evan lowered his head.

“And you made my life hell because I rejected you?”

“I was so in love with you.”

“But, I was the only out gay guy in the school! If you were gay too, why would you do that to me?”

“Because you were the only out gay guy in the school. Kendall, you didn’t make accepting who I was easy. Not as a wolf shifter. Not as a boy who liked boys. Not as a guy who was in love with you.”

I looked at him stunned. “I didn’t make your self-acceptance easy? I don’t even know where to begin with that. You made everything about my self-acceptance the hardest thing in the world.”

“I know. And I’m so sorry about that. But, please, see it from my perspective.”

I stared at him pissed. “Which is?”

“You mademylife hell! Not only did you reject me, but do you remember what you used to wear? You were the only out gay guy at our school and you showed up every day wearing dresses and makeup. Did you have to do that?”

“Yes, I did. Because people like you were telling me that I couldn’t. I had to prove that I wasn’t going to give in to your bullshit. I wasn’t gonna be ashamed of myself.”