Page 67 of His Hungry Wolf

“Something that will take your mind off of training.”

I paused.

“You mean, like a date?” I asked with my heart in my throat.

He looked at me surprised.

“Oh, no. Not a date. Definitely not a date.”

Hearing his words, my heart broke.

“Oh.”

Seeing my reaction, Merri backpedaled.

“I mean, it’s not like I wouldn’t want to go on a date with you. You know how I’ve felt about you.”

“Then, what is it?” I asked vulnerably.

“I mean, we should stay focused on getting you prepared, shouldn’t we?”

“Right. Because that’s the only reason you invited me here,” I reminded myself.

“It’s not the only reason,” he said, giving me hope. “But getting you this opportunity is important for both of us. How about we just keep things the way they used to be? At least for now. I really want to do this for you, Merri. And I don’t want to fuck things up.”

“Of course. Let’s not fuck things up.”

“Right,” he agreed, looking sadder than I felt.

We scheduled our day off – that definitely didn’t include a date – for the following day. We had been training seven days a week since I had gotten there. A rest was overdue.

While Merri slept in the next morning, I took the opportunity to restart my morning runs. With all the sprinting I had been doing, the ten miles felt easy. That meant my mind was free to wander. What it settled on was how much I wished Merri and I were going on a real date.

Since arriving, I had decided that Merri no longer felt what he used to for me. He couldn’t. After kissing him, he had refused to talk about it. He had asked if we could pretend it never happened. Imagine me wanting to talk about something and Merri not. How repulsed must he have been by my kiss?

Finishing my casual two-hour run that did little to clear my mind, I returned home to find Merri awake and worried about where I was.

“I thought you went home,” he joked. At least, I thought it was a joke.

“No, I decided to do a run around the city. I haven’t gotten the chance to see much of it.”

“There’s not much to see.”

“Still, it was nice familiarizing myself with where I’m living.”

“I guess,” he conceded, looking away in thought.

Joining Merri for a leisurely breakfast at a place in the historical district, I decided that today would also be a cheat day. Not only did I have waffles, but I had fried chicken and a full glass of milk. I was stuffed by the time we rolled out of there at noon.

Walking back to his place, I could tell there was something on his mind. Though I knew this would have been the perfect place to ask what he was thinking and perhaps give him a compliment, I didn’t. I wasn’t sure why.

My openness practice was going as well as my football practices were. For some reason, I wasn’t making progress on either. I was going to have to do better, though. I knew that. I was going to have to make more of an effort on the field and with Merri.

It wasn’t like I didn’t immediately think about how beautiful Merri was every morning when he left his bedroom. Like back at university, he acted like he was allergic to shirts. When we were home, he never wore one. And the guy had the body of a demi-god.

I don’t mean Hercules, of course. Merri was much smaller than that. But his lean lines and rippling stomach gave me thoughts. After weeks of staring at them, I had to wonder about myself.

Why had I kissed him? Had I been swept up in the moment? Was I just giving Merri what I thought he wanted? I wasn’t sure. But if I could talk to Merri about it, perhaps I could figure it out.