Page 68 of His Hungry Wolf

Returning to his place, Merri took off his shirt and we both buried ourselves in the couch. Streaming the latest action movie on Netflix, we watched it mindlessly, taking full advantage of our day off.

“Why didn’t you ever furnish this place?” I asked, scanning the blank walls and empty floor space.

“What do you mean? I have a couch, a TV, and a bed. What else is there?”

“What about a painting? Or at least a poster of a painting?”

“That would involve getting up, going to the poster store, and deciding what to buy. Who has time for that,” he said as he sat on the couch, watching a movie.

“Have you not furnished it because you don’t know how long the job with the Cougars will last?”

“There is that,” he confirmed.

“How long is your father’s contract for?”

“It’s supposed to be four years, but it has an out clause. If the team fires him, they would still have to pay him. Me? Not so much. I would be left with nothing.”

“I still think you should decorate the place,” I decided.

He looked at me curiously. “Why?”

“Living like this, it’s like you’re waiting to begin your life. You’re living it. This is it. This is your life. Commit to it. Put something on the walls. You can always take it with you if you leave.”

That was the end of our conversation. I couldn’t tell what Merri was thinking. I wouldn’t have had to guess if I had asked him about it. But again, I stayed silent.

What was wrong with me? I knew the baby steps I had to make, and I couldn’t even do that. Maybe I was destined to be alone. If not be alone, then at least feel like I was.

Merri was a great guy. I felt more comfortable around him than anyone else I knew. Yet, I couldn’t even ask him how he was feeling. Why? What was wrong with me?

With that movie over, we watched another. Switching to a reality dating show after that, Merri announced that he would take me somewhere where I could see the city.

“We’re losing daylight,” I told him, liking his idea.

“That’s fine. The view’s better at night.”

“Oh,” I said, wondering what he was planning. “Is this something I should get dressed for?”

“Will you need to wear pants? We’ll be outside, so yes, you will.”

I chuckled.

“No. I meant… You know what, never mind. I’ll go take a shower,” I told him.

“I would say, don’t take long, but who am I kidding,” he said, giving me a smile.

“Whatever,” I told him, dismissing his latest jab at the length of my showers.

Vowing to get in and out as quickly as possible, I left the bathroom thirty minutes later to find that Merri wasn’t there. “Well, it’s not my fault if we’re late,” I told myself, returning to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

“My God!” Merri said, banging on the bathroom door. “Aren’t I supposed to be the gay one?”

“I was ready thirty minutes ago,” I said, leaving the bathroom to find him shirtless.

‘Wow!’ I thought without saying it.

“Where are we going again?” I asked him as he entered the bathroom past me.

“You’ll see,” he told me as he closed the door behind him.