Page 124 of Broken Saint

I think back to his moods in college. The highs that were freaking epic, and then the times he wouldn’t answer his phone, wouldn’t attend parties.

I didn’t really think much of them at the time. Just like he said earlier, I assumed he was being a douchebag college kid.

But it was more than that. It was him dealing with life alone.

A thought slams into me, and I rip my lips from his. “Did you ever tell any of the guys this?” I ask between heaving breaths.

Regret and pain flood his eyes as his lids lower.

He shakes his head.

“West was the only one who knew for a long time. I eventually told Luca, and the coaching staff, obviously.”

“And now?”

Another shake.

“My coaches know. The medical staff. The team therapist.”

“Colt,” I breathe, cupping his rough jaw in my hand, my chest aching knowing that he’s been dealing with all this alone for years. “You thought that by telling us, it would scare us away.”

When he refuses to look at me, I gently pull his jaw up and duck down, needing his eyes.

“It should,” he finally whispers.

“Never, Colt. We’re your friends. Your family.”

I shake my head, my eyes flooding with tears. His lips are pressed into a thin line and he has a deep frown between his brows.

He studies me, his eyes bouncing between mine before dropping to my lips.

“I never want to cause anyone the kind of pain she caused us. It would kill me if I put you through even an ounce of that.”

My lips tremble as I fight to keep myself in check.

My heart aches as three little words bubble up my throat.

This whole thing has been such a whirlwind.

I still haven’t dealt with the man I left behind in Texas, and here I am sitting in a car with the only one who’s ever had my heart.

He had it back in college, and he still has it now.

It goes a long way to explain the black hole in my chest I’ve been living with all these years.

“I understand that, Colt. I do. But what if it never happens and you stop yourself from experiencing something incredible?”

Leaning in, our brows touch over the center console, the windows beginning to fog up around us.

“You are incredible, Bombshell. The best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I’d do anything not to hurt you.”

“You have though, Colt,” I say, hating that I have to be honest right now. “Every time you pushed me away. It hurt. All I’ve ever wanted is you.”

33

COLTON

The weight of her words presses down on me.