Page 191 of Broken Saint

She’s been incredible.

Everyone has been. No sooner did we get back last night than Letty and Peyton arrived with open arms and a bottle of vodka.

I ignored the vodka—that was the last thing I needed. Their support, however…

“Shush, baby,” Mom whispers. “Everything is going to be okay.”

Is it, though?

How?

Everything is broken. Wrong.

Painful.

I was given a taste of what the ultimate happiness could be like, and then it was ripped away in the most unfair of circumstances.

Why did he do it?

“He’s just scared, baby,” Mom answers, making me wonder if I asked that out loud or if she’s just that in tune with me.

I sniffle in agreement.

He is scared. I get that.

I’m fucking scared.

But isn’t that why we should be standing together? Facing this together?

Another body-trembling sob rocks through me.

I thought I’d experienced the worst kind of pain in my life.

But I was wrong.

Nothing that I’ve been through before this moment even begins to compare.

I’ve always loved Colt. That’s not news to me.

But to have him love me back. To have him finally drop those walls and love me in return and then to have it taken away…

“Everything will look better when the sun rises,” Mom promises.

I crack my sore eyes open and look at the window.

It’s still dark.

She should be sleeping, putting all of this behind her.

Guilt floods my body.

She flew across the country to support me, to be there for Colt, and look where she’s ended up. Once again picking up the pieces of my life and attempting to put me back together.

She holds me tighter as my sobs continue to rip through the air, but eventually, my exhausted body wears itself out and I drift off into a fitful sleep. It’s full of torturous dreams of the life I was so close to having.

I thought this was it. I thought Seattle and Colt were my home.

A fresh start where I could put the pain of the past behind me.