Page 190 of Broken Saint

“It’s the right thing to do,” I state, standing by my decision.

Ella can spend the night with her mom. Angie will keep her together, and so will Letty and Peyton.

A couple of days away and she’ll realize that this is for the best.

“Colt,” he sighs. “You’ve done some real stupid shit in your time, but if you go through with this, it’ll be at the fucking top of that list.”

I shrug, unwilling to listen to his lecture.

He doesn’t know what I’m going through right now. He has no idea how fucking hard this is, watching your dream, your life, your everything slipping through your fingers like grains of sand.

I have two choices: cling onto everything I once had and poison it with the darkness I know is coming, or let it all go.

I might be a selfish motherfucker, but I’m not so selfish I can drag everyone I care about down with me.

“Are you finished?” I grunt, refusing to meet his eyes.

“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, Rogers?”

My teeth grind as he stalks to the end of my bed, but I don’t respond.

My cell lands on my thigh with a thud. “Call her. Apologize. Tell her you fucking love her.”

His glare burns into my skin, but I still refuse to look up.

I’m done with this. I’ve made my decision.

I knew the day would come, but unlike what I experienced as a kid, I’m doing this alone. No one else deserves to live through what my future holds.

“Call her,” he states again. But when I still don’t give him any kind of response, he marches away, letting my door close softly behind him.

I can’t imagine it was the dramatic exit he was hoping for, but it is what it is.

Finally alone, I let out a groan of frustration.

Pain grips me in a tight hold, darkness flickering at the edges of my psyche.

A life without football.

A life without Ella.

49

ELLA

My eyes burn and my throat is rough, but none of it matters.

Colt’s words continue to play out in my mind.

He sent me away.

And not just for the night.

He told me to enjoy my life.

Another loud sob falls from my throat as a whole new wave of grief and heartache cuts through me like a knife.

The door to my room opens before the bed dips and Mom’s arm wraps around me.