Page 228 of Broken Saint

I thought I was doing the right thing, letting her go. I was giving her a chance to start over. To finally leave me in the past where I belong.

Dragging my hand over my face, I stare out the window, feeling Benny’s stare from beside me.

I had no idea that he’d already planned this. That he had booked two one-way tickets to Texas and that he was fully expecting me to do exactly what I did—shove a handful of things into a bag and run for the front door.

He might have wanted to hear me confess to my feelings for Ella. But really, he didn’t need to. He knew.

“It’s only an hour from the airport.”

“That’s too far,” I say quietly.

I’ve spent every second of the past few weeks trying to convince myself that I did the right thing. The pain in my chest, the longing, the grief over losing her hasn’t left me for a single moment.

But I was holding strong because I stupidly believed that I was right, even while everyone around me was telling me that I was the world’s biggest idiot.

My head spins as all my fears over forcing my life and my issues on someone else run rampant, but for once, they’re not my biggest fear.

Right now, the most terrifying thing is Ella’s condition.

Benny has refused to give me details. I’m hoping that he’s just trying to scare me, but I’m terrified that it’s because she’s bad and he doesn’t think I can handle the truth.

I slam my eyes closed, unable to continue even thinking about it.

Focusing on my breathing, I think about Ella.

I can still vividly remember the first time I saw her. She was like an angel with her golden hair and sexy curves.

She was dancing like no one was watching. But I was, and I was fucking enthralled.

She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. What I didn’t know that night was that she was equally as beautiful on the inside.

Everything about her is perfect.

She’s smart, funny, caring. She’s everything.

Exactly the kind of woman I always told myself I didn’t deserve. That I couldn’t have.

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” I blurt, unable to keep the burning question inside any longer.

She has every right to take one look at me and turn me away.

Hell, after all the shit I’ve pulled, it’s exactly what she should do.

But this is Ella.

My Ella.

Curling my fists tightly, I embrace the sharp pain as my nails dig into my palms.

It’s nowhere near enough to ground me right now.

Benny continues to study me, silently considering my question and putting me on edge even more.

Most people would tell me that it’s going to be okay, that she’ll be happy to see me. But apparently, that isn’t how Benny rolls.

Instead, he hits me with the truth.

The painful fucking truth.