Page 231 of Broken Saint

“No,” I cry, forcing that little voice from my head. It’s easier said than done after a lifetime of listening to it.

But I’ve got to try.

I’ve got to try harder.

For her.

For Ella.

My Ella.

I storm through the double doors that lead to the ward she’s on and scan the space and the nurses behind the desk.

Benny continues to bark directions, and I take off right before pulling to a very abrupt stop the second my eyes land on the woman waiting at the very end.

Benny isn’t paying any attention and slams straight into my back as I stand frozen, staring at his mom.

The last time I saw Angie…

Fuck. The less I think about that, the better.

I swallow nervously, but it does very little to dislodge the messy lump of emotion stuck in my throat.

Ella is on the other side of that door.

My chest heaves as I silently plead for Angie to let me pass.

I’ve no idea if Benny told her what he was doing. For all I know, she doesn’t want me anywhere near her daughter.

The walls around me begin to close in and my hands tremble as reality hits harder than ever before.

I need her.

I need her so fucking bad, and right now, she needs me just as much.

“Angie, I’m so?—”

The door behind her opens and two nurses silently slip out.

They pause when they see me but quickly glance at Angie, who nods.

Happy that I’m allowed to be here, they walk around me and disappear.

“You can go in,” Angie says simply.

“Is she?—”

“She’s sleeping right now, but you can sit with her.”

I stare at her, both desperate to ask her all the questions and to barge past her to get to my girl instead.

“Go,” Benny hisses, spurring me on.

I race forward with my heart in my throat and my hands trembling violently.

I’ve still got no idea what’s happening, but I do know that I need to be with her.

She sat beside my bed hour after hour and supported me.