Page 67 of Royal Guard

My hand ached with the need to just grab the handle and hurl the door open. Sitting there was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life... which was exactly why I had to leave.

“You’re safe in the palace,” I said. “And I’ve heard the General, he’s confident you’ll win the war as long as we attack first. The threat against you will be gone.”

“It’s not just about needing your protection.” The pain in her voice made my chest ache.

I closed my eyes. “I know. That’s why I have toleave.” I sighed. “You’re a princess—Hell, you’re the Queen, now. I’m—”

“I don’t care what you are, Garrett!”

I opened my eyes and looked around at the huge chandelier and the four poster bed. At the solid silver chess set and the gold candlesticks. “We’re from two different worlds, Kristina. You can’t be with me. I thought coming here with you was the right thing to do, but it’s just hurting you more and I never wanted to hurt you. You’re the most special damn thing I’ve ever known in my life. I never wanted anyone so bad. But life ain’t a fairytale.” I pressed my palm against the door, wishing I could touch her.

48

KRISTINA

I was leaningout of the bath, my hand pressed against the door. Even through the thick wood, I swore I could feel the warmth of him on the other side. “Stay,” I begged. “Stay and we’ll find a way!” My heart was pounding, my stomach a cold, dark knot of fear. Everything he was saying was true. Wecouldn’tbe together. But the thought of losing him forever made all those rules and traditions suddenly seemed so wrong. “Stay!”

The Texas rumble again, a vibration I felt in every inch of wet, exposed skin. “Even if we could figure something out, I’m not right to be with anyone. Got some bad shit in my head.”

I needed to fix this before we tore apart forever. But I had to pick my way carefully or I’d shatter the slender bridge that still remained. My whole body had gone cold and I slid fully back into the bath and lay there in its heat and steam as I thought desperately. “Garrett,” I said at last, “I know that things happenedto you in the war. That’s okay. I know what that’s like. You know I do.”

I heard his intake of breath, that protective rage as he remembered what happened to me. It warmed me inside.I can’t live without this, without him to make me feel safe.

“It ain’t just what happened,” he said. “It’s what I did.”

And for the first time, I glimpsed the root of all that pain.Guilt.That’s what he’d been carrying all these years. I had to help him, to save him. God knows, he’d saved me enough times. “Whatever it was, it’s okay. I know you, Garrett. You’re a good man. Tell me what happened.”

But he was silent. He wasn’t going to tell me. He was going to get up and go and that would beit,I’d never see him again. I’d be on my own forever. Andhe’dbe on his own forever.

No.I wasn’t going to let it end like this. I owed him too much. Even if we couldn’t be together, I needed to help him before he left. I’d go out there andmakehim talk.I’ll stand up, throw open the door, wrap my arms around him and—

But I couldn’t get up.

At first it was funny: my legs had gone to sleep. But when I tried to wiggle my toes, they didn’t respond. And when I tried to reach down and feel them, my arms wouldn’t move. Something was horribly wrong.

I flexed my back, trying to sit up, but nothing happened. I was lying there helpless, chin a few inches above the surface.What the hell?

Through the door, I heard Garrett’s body shift as he adjusted position.Garrett!I’d call to him. He’d help me. I inhaled... but my lungs barely moved. Andmy vocal cords wouldn’t cooperate: I couldn’t yell, couldn’t even speak.

I was paralyzed.

For a moment, I just lay there listening to the faint sound of my own breath. And then something started to happen.

I was slipping.

I couldn’t feel it because my legs were completely numb, but I could just see out of my peripheral vision that they were starting to flex as the muscles weakened. And as they flexed, my body was sliding down the bath...and under the water.

Oh Jesus Christ no.

I moved a millimeter at a time, the water rising up my neck. I was going to drown and I couldn’t let Garrett know there was anything wrong. My only chance was if he spoke first. If he broke the silence and I didn’t respond, and he realized something was wrong.Please, Garrett! Talk to me!

Silence.

The water lapped at my chin, then began to creep towards my lips.Garrett! Talk to me!

But the silence stretched on. I slipped down, down.... and then it happened: the water reached my lips.

Garrett!