Page 139 of Icebound Hearts

Violet

Sawyer and I spend all night in my bed, alternating between having sex and talking. Neither of us wants to go to sleep or even risk closing our eyes for too long, as if we’re afraid we’ll wake up and this will all turn out to have been some beautiful, bittersweet dream.

But eventually, I’m too exhausted from it all to keep my eyes open anymore.

I don’t remember falling asleep, but I stir early the next morning in Sawyer’s arms with the sun streaming in through my bedroom window. I wake gently, feeling better than I have in a long time.

I think I only slept a few hours, but it was definitely the best sleep I’ve gotten since I moved.That’s not a coincidence.

My back is against Sawyer’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me, and I can tell from the deep, easy pace of his breathing that he’s still out cold. The last thing I want to do is get out of bed and wake him up in the process, but I can see the alarm clock on the bedside table and it’s almost half past seven. I have to get up and get moving to get to work on time, and Sawyer has a plane to catch.

I gently climb out of his grip, and he comes to life as I’m sitting. He blinks at me slowly. As soon as his vision unblurs and he makes me out, his face lights up. “You’re the perfect thing to wake up to, you know that?” he asks, his voice croaky. Smiling, I lean over to kiss him.

“Sorry to wake you, but I have to get ready for work.”

“Shit. What time is it?”

“About seven-thirty. Don’t worry, you didn’t miss your flight,” I say, since I know he booked an early return to Denver.

He steals another kiss from me. “That’s not what I was worried about. I just didn’t want to miss a second with you, heartbreaker.”

“I know. Me neither.”

I give him a shaky smile, trying to hide the way my heart feels like it’s tearing itself in two. I remember everything he said last night as if the words have been burned into my memory, but in the stark light of day, it all feels even harder and more complicated than it did last night.

I don’t want our time together to end on a sad note, so I give him one more kiss and then escape into the bathroom, showering quickly and pulling my unruly hair into a ponytail. I still haven’t mastered buns, which is too bad because they’d be a nice look for the office.

When I step out of the bathroom, I find Sawyer fully dressed and ready to head to the airport.

The sight makes me feel like someone put my heart in a vise.

He holds his arms out to me, so I hurry to him and press my lips against his. He wraps his arms around me, holding me close, then lets me go to stare down into my eyes. The golden sun glints in his gray irises, making me think of lightning flashing through storm clouds.

“This isn’t over,” he tells me quietly and rests his forehead against mine. “I promise.”

I nod and kiss him again, unable to fight back the desperation I’m feeling. I don’t doubt him, and I know he’ll keep his word somehow, but it’s hard not to worry that it might not work out.

“Bye for now. I’ll see you again soon,” Sawyer says and kisses me one last time before he lets me go and heads for the door. He pauses to stare back at me for a moment, beaming, before he steps out and closes the door behind him. My heart jumps in my chest like it wants to reach out for him, to stop him from leaving, but I take a deep breath.

This isn’t the end. He promised.

I finish getting ready for work and grab a quick bite to eat before I head for the office. I’m running a little later than normal, but I’m still on time. Michelle and most of the others are already there when I pull in, and Michelle greets me with a warm smile and “good morning” on my way through the door.

I make my way to my desk and sit down to sign into my computer. It takes a while to get up and running, but even when it’s ready, I can’t focus. All I can think about is Sawyer. Even though we spent all night together and my body is still aching sweetly from the incredible sex we had, some part of me still feels like all of last night was some wild fever dream.

But what’s hardest to believe is Sawyer offering to leave the Aces for me, to work out a trade with the team here in LA. I know he meant it, but that’s exactly what makes it so hard to believe. So much of his identity is tied up with the Aces and the relationships he’s built with the rest of the guys on the team that it’s hard to imagine what life would even look like for him without it. But he was dead serious about leaving all that and the city he loves behind—for me. My heart squeezes in my chest just thinking about it.

And then there’s Jake. I know Sawyer is right, and that he would love LA and all of its sunshine and outdoor activities. Butstill, I’m sure he’d miss Denver. And he’d miss the Aces as much as Sawyer would. Those men are like family to him, a bunch of surrogate uncles who love him to pieces. Can I really separate him from all of that?

There’s really only one way out of this, and as soon as I realize it, a feeling of certainty washes over me—and a deep sense of calm follows.

I know what I have to do.

I push back from my desk and stand to take a deep breath, steadying myself for what I’m about to do, then walk around to the opposite side of the office where Michelle’s office sits. Her door is open and she’s clicking away at the keyboard on her laptop, so I pause and knock gently on the open door. She looks up and smiles, her fingers pausing on the keyboard.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”