Page 58 of Hometown Cowboy

Of all things to have lost, why did it have to be his time with her?

He gunned the engine and shoved the ute into reverse. The universe certainly had a crap sense of humour. The one woman he could seriously imagine a long-term thing with—something permanent—and that was what it decided to steal.

He swore. This had to stop. He missed her so bad.

There was only one thing for it. He had to decide exactly what he wanted and show the hell up.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Ryan scraped hishand over his stubble-roughened face and held his breath. He rapped his knuckles on Millie’s front door and waited, then tucked his hands firmly into his jeans.

Her lovely little house sat close to the main street, it’s bright red shutters a perky contrast to the calm grey of the walls. A stamped concrete pathway to her letterbox was free of any leaf litter or debris of any kind, as if it knew Millie Stevens would never accept anything less than perfection in her front yard.

The door opened behind him, no audible squeak, no sound at all. Just the change in air pressure that made him look around.

Millie leaned on the door jamb and raised one eyebrow, an obviouswhat do you want?

“Heya, Mil.”

“Ryan.”

He fidgeted with a random coin in his back pocket, then sighed. “Can I come in?”

Millie stepped backward and motioned for him to follow her into the immaculate living room.

Expensive furniture drew the eye around the room. Nice furniture. Not that stuffy, over-priced furniture that tried to be elegant and wasn’t. Everything your eyes glanced over screamed taste and expense.

“I thought it was time—way past time, if I’m honest—that I apologised for how I treated you.”

Surprise, then a studied nonchalance washed over her features.

One elegant shoulder lifted in a shrug. “It’s in the past. It means nothing.”

“No, it’s not nothing. I’m sorry I started it in the first place. That was wholly on me.”

Millie shook her head, incredulous. “What are you looking for, absolution? You’ve treated every single woman in the district the same way, even Darby. I honestly thought you would never have the guts to do that, to play up with Gabe’s sister. Wow. That was stupid, even for you.”

Millie sat on the edge of her leather sofa and waved him to do the same. She rubbed her hands over her eyes and leaned her elbows on her knees. Bangles clattered on her wrist when she waved her hand at him.

“It was years ago. I don’t know why you feel the need to rehash the ancient past.”

Ryan paced, then sat precariously on the edge of the opposite chair. “That’s just it. Yes, it was a long time ago, but we were friends. Maybe not close, but wewerefriends. I knew you wanted more than I was prepared to give, and I let it continue. I let you hope and that was wrong. It wasn’t fair to you. I thought that if I ignored it you would forget about it and the issue would go away.”

He let out a strained laugh and clasped his hands together, elbows on his knees. “I was an idiot. I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life. I wanted to apologise. I wanted to know if you could forgive me.”

Millie sighed and leaned back into the plush upholstery and hung a knee over her thigh.

“I should be angry with you. I should throw you out on your ear. But you know what? I don’t have the energy. You’re not the be-all and end-all of my life, Ryan. Not everything is aboutyou. Yes, you hurt me. But it was as much on me as you. I knew what you were like going in. I knew you never hung around. I knew you would never love me. It says just as much about me that I let myself fall for you back then, as it does about your fear of commitment. And I understand why. Britney really did a number on you. I think that’s why so many people gave you so much leeway for so long. But there comes a point in your life where you simply have to grow the hell up.”

Anger, frustration, and worst of all—helplessness—washed through his blood in a raging flood.

He ground it down. It wasn’t Millie’s fault. He’d come to her; he knew it wouldn’t be easy. Britney was a blip on an otherwise decent life, one that he had no intention of dissecting.

“That’s what I’m trying to do. Right past wrongs and all that. Britney has nothing to do with this. I—”

“Of course she does!” Millie interrupted. “For heaven’s sake! If you’re going all righteous, you have to start at the beginning. What she did was worse than anything you ever did to me. We had a short fling—she left you at the altar. We all saw how it nearly destroyed you. What she did was so wrong. And you never really got over it, did you?”

The surprise in Millie’s voice was enough to cut him. He shoved himself off the edge of the chair, stood and crossed his arms tight. He shook his head. “This isn’t why I came here. You’re not listening!”