Page 115 of Fierce-Michael

“So she’s jealous and that is probably what caused her to say what she had?” she asked.

“I think so. She wanted to know if you bribed Ty and I told her you interacted. Then she made some comment about how it’s easy when you don’t see him much.”

“I see him more than she does,” she said.

“Which I pointed out. I walked out saying that I needed her to figure out if she wanted Ty in her life. That I can’t force something and won’t anymore. She has to make that decision. Four years ago she said she wasn’t ready and I believed it, but she’s not made any attempt in all this time. I am enabling her and didn’t see it.”

“It’s hard for you to admit that, isn’t it?”

“Fuck yeah,” he said. “No one likes admitting they are wrong.”

34

BEING RESPONSIBLE

Kelly didn’t think she’d see Michael today but was glad he came over.

She knew they’d at least talk because she’d planned on making that move when she thought he’d be alone.

The last thing she expected was that he’d admit he was wrong though.

“No,” she said. “No one likes to admit it and I’ll admit it too when we get to my part. But I think there is more you need to say so I’ll let you do it.”

“Thank you for that,” he said. “And for being reasonable. I don’t think I was on Saturday. I was frustrated over what was going on with the house and that our plans had gotten ruined. I feel like I’ve had to cancel or change plans with you so much and it’s a guilt I carry that you deserve better and I can’t give it to you.”

Her heart skipped a few beats in her chest. He wasn’t one to say those things and without them talking, she didn’t always understand why he might be upset or angry on Saturday.

“I deserve you,” she said. “But we have to talk more. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“I didn’t know you were having issues with Electra. So I think what happened, the timing of it, just compounded what we both were feeling deep down and were afraid to say.”

“You’re right,” she said. “What else happened with Electra?”

“She cried. She pouted. She tried to make me feel guilty. In the end, I asked her to step up. Did she want our son to know she can’t even provide simple things for him or interact with him? If that is the image he wanted in his head all the time.”

“That’s harsh,” she said.

“See, I didn’t think it was,” he said. “Why do you say that?”

“I’m not saying it didn’t need to be said. I believe it did. I’m saying it’s harsh and I didn’t expect you to say it to her.”

“Meaning I always want to make her happy too?” he asked. “That isn’t the case. It’s never been about her, it’s always Ty.”

“I believe you think that,” she said. “But you said once that you wanted Ty to see his mother happy, so it was about her in a roundabout way. As I said, we aren’t all happy all the time. Even your four-year-old son knows that.”

“Touché,” he said. “I needed to hear those things.”

“I didn’t say them to hurt you.”

“I know that. And I fought back by hurting your feelings. It made me feel petty what I said. It was wrong. I never should have done it. I turned what you did back then, the love you felt for someone, into something dirty or wrong. That wasn’t right of me.”

“No,” she said. “It wasn’t. I loved Brian. I told you that. I got enough crap from his parents over it and I didn’t need that judgment from anyone else. Don’t think I haven’t felt it in my life too. That I only did it because deep down I knew it wasn’t going to last.”

She had to live with that and always would.

She couldn’t change the decision she made, and going back in time, she wouldn’t have. But she also knew that if she thoughtBrian might have lived, she most likely wouldn’t have married him.

“You did what you could to comfort someone,” he said. “In your mind, it wasn’t a sacrifice or hardship.”