Page 116 of Fierce-Michael
“It wasn’t. It’s not as if anyone knew about it either. I can understand a lot of what you do for Ty because I know what it’s like to do something like that for someone you love.”
The fact Brian’s parents thought she did it for money and accused her of that in the end meant nothing.
It was just another reason why no one knew she was married because it did make her brief marriage feel as if she was being judged for wanting something else out of it.
“I think that is why it was so easy to let you into my life,” he said. “I never expected our relationship to always come out smelling like roses.”
“I’d say a lot of sewage was spilled on Saturday.”
“It was,” he said. “And words hurt and I have to carry the guilt that you think I feel that way about you. I can’t take it back and though I was pissed you left, I think it was the right decision. I wouldn’t want you to have said something to make you feel as I do right now.”
Even when she was pissed or annoyed with him, he was still a stand-up guy.
He accused her of doing everything for everyone else, but he did the same. He just couldn’t see it.
“You can put yourself first, you know.”
He frowned. “What does that mean? Do you think I have Ty too much?”
“There you go,” she said. “Jumping to conclusions. I said it because what you just said was that you wouldn’t want me to feel as you do right now. That’s putting other people ahead of you. You think of others before you do yourself. It’s not much different than me.”
“No,” he said. “Not when you explain it like that. I didn’t see it. I didn’t see a lot of things.”
“Love can be blind,” she said.
“You still love me after what I said?”
“I’m not someone who can turn love on and off,” she said. “I don’t believe that is even possible. I’m not saying people can’t fall out of love with someone, but that doesn’t mean that love never existed and it takes time for that to happen too. One fight isn’t going to do it. I’d like to think I’m made of stronger stuff.”
“You are,” he said. “If you can put up with me so far, you’re definitely strong.”
“I always thought I was strong,” she said. “I didn’t feel it Saturday night crying. Or Sunday when I went to my parents’ house and cried on my mother’s shoulder.”
He cringed. “I’m sorry. Did you tell her what happened? Everything?”
“I did,” she said. “I didn’t want to, but it slipped. I only wanted to talk to her about Electra and ask if I overreacted. I didn’t want her to be mad at you for what you said.”
“Is she?” he asked. “Do I have to go and talk to her?”
Her bottom lip started to tremble. “You’d do that?”
“Yes,” he said. “I don’t want us to have any distractions, or more distractions, in our relationship. I’d want to put their mind at ease that I didn’t mean it and am not a dick to their daughter.”
She walked over and hugged him and he held on tight. Tighter than she’d thought he would. “That is the sweetest thing ever. You don’t need to do that. Though my mother was annoyed, she also took your side on things. She had some good advice and told me I wasn’t wrong in how I felt, but that you might not be either. That we had to talk it out and see what happened.”
They moved apart and went to sit on the couch next to each other.
“I’m used to being the one to make all the decisions,” he said. “I don’t talk as much as I should.”
“Which is where the learning has to come into play,” she said. “I’m not trying to tell you how to parent Ty. I’d never do that.”
“Maybe you need to speak up,” he said. “What you said wasn’t wrong. I needed to see it. Or maybe I’ve seen it but had to open my eyes more to it.”
“So you aren’t mad I told you what I did?” she asked.
“No. Your mother is right. We have to talk. I hate that I don’t always put you first.”
“I know that. And I realized that when we are together, you try. I always loved that about you. Your dedication to your son but at the same time making it work for us. But it made me realize that you’re the one sacrificing too. That’s not right either.”