Page 1 of With Wine Comes War

Chapter 1

ALEX

“Get off of me!” I screamed.

I’m swinging my arms wildly at him…Tanner, Roman, I can’t distinguish between the two. It’s Tanner's voice and Roman’s face then Tanner’s face and Roman’s voice. His hands are around my throat.

“Roman stop!” I plead desperately. “I love you.” I mouth the words, but no sound comes out. He doesn’t hear me. His eyes are so dark theylook deranged. He’s squeezing tighter, his fingers digging in. I can’t breathe—I’m going to die. My heart breaks as everything goes black, then I gasp as my eyes fly open wide and the room is suddenly quiet, empty, and bright. I feel like it should hurt my eyes it’s so bright, but it doesn’t— I feel at peace. I’m safe. Roman and Tanner are gone, my heart feels mended. I look around but I don’t see anything, yet I don’t feel alone. Then I see her—Mama.

“Mama, what are you doing here?” She’s so beautiful and ethereal in a long, flowing white gown.

“I’m here for you, Alexandra. It’s time for you to wake up, my daughter.”

“Can you come with me Mama?” I missed her so much. She slowly shook her head with a tender smile. My face fell as I realized what that meant. I reached out to her, but she started to fade.

“It’s time to open your eyes, sweet girl. It’s going to be okay.” I heard her in my head then she’s gone like smoke dissipating into thin air.

I woke up to the familiar feel of tears running down my cheeks, staining the pillow, whimpering with a throbbing headache after finishing off a bottle of wine from the night before. Lately I’ve been waking from the same dream— my mom telling me that everything's going to be okay, and it was time to wake up. Just like in the hospital, when I finally woke up after having been unconscious for four days due to some crazy new street drug Tanner had put in my drink at the bar. “Designer date rape drug” is what the cops called it. Basically, it was a roofie mixed with fentanyl. I’m sure I should be dead, but my mom seemed to think I needed to live—or suffer is more like it.

No, nothing is okay.None of this is okay!I thought as I rolled over, pulling the pillow over my head.How can you tell me everything’s going to be okay, mom? You’re dead!I punched the pillow in a state of aggravation. It feels like Groundhog's Day! Same dream, same morning—going to the gym, pissed as hell and wanting to find a way to make Tanner Ellington pay for what he did. As far as I’m concerned, he killed my mother. If he hadn’t drugged me, I would’ve never been in the hospital, and she would’ve never gotten in the car to come be with me. It doesn’t matter that she was the only one in the accident, or that she was driving drunk. Jail will be too good for him but I’m going to make sure he pays dearly for what he did. The ideas for how to accomplish that have been swirling around in my head, and the angrier I get, the more focused I become on devising that plan.

My head is splitting.

I needed to find a new way to deal with the memories as well as my new reality. I pushed my palms under the pillow and into my eyes to try and dull the ache. All I can do now is try to forget, but it's impossible. The alcohol only helped until it wore off. Thankfully, it flowed in abundance everywhere I went. The only time I didn't seem to need it was when I was working out, running, or at the MMA studio.

Ah, kickboxing classes. They used to be so much fun because I was taking them with my girlfriends. As much as I missed my best friends, Maggie and Abby, and our Sunday brunch, I just didn't have the strength to talk about this with anyone and I didn’t really have to at the gym, thankfully. The morning I found Roman’s gray hoodie in my closet was especially hard. The memory of that jacket wrapped around me at Lookout Park when I danced safely in his arms, inhaling his cologne, and finally feeling like someone truly cared about me. I’m pretty sure that’s the night I fell in love with him.

Poor Roman. How could I have been so selfish to suck him into my trainwreck of a life?

He deserved so much better than me. I knew I’d end up hurting him somehow. Well, he’s definitely better off without me. Plus, I don’t want to fucking talk to anyone. I reached over and picked up myphone. There were messages from Roman and my friends. I deleted them without reading any of them at all. “Ahhh!” I screamed and hit the pillow with one last good deep punch before shoving it out of my way.

6:00 am seems to be as good a time as any to get up now that I’m not going to work or doing anything else for that matter. I guess I’ll head to the gym. I threw the pillow across the room, knocking over a stack of laundry that’s been waiting to be put away for ages, and dragged myself out of bed.

***

ROMAN

I felt like erasing all these damn pictures I have of her on my phone. I swiped to the photo of us at the riverbank; there's one of us at her friend Maggie’s house; here’s the album from the beach trip we took with her family—I’m going to drive myself crazy staring at them all day. I kept hearing everyone’s voice telling me to give her time to heal.Why won’t she stop being stubborn and ask for help?God, this is so frustrating. I didn’t fucking do this to her. It was fucking Tanner, not me! I threw my phone on my desk and leaned back in my chair with my hands over my face. I’m agitated and angry and completely helpless.

The only connection I have to her now is Matt, who gave me what little information he gets from Maggie, which isn’t much since she stopped meeting her friends for brunch. They still see her at the MMA studio for self-defense classes and kickboxing, but she doesn't talk much to either of them, typically leaving right after class, according to the girls.

I let out a deep resounding breath and tried to pull myself together. I’ve really gotta get my head on straight and focus on work.

There's a gentle knocking on the door as Amelia peeked in before entering. Damn, I needed to chill out. She seemed to be walking on eggshells around me these days and that’s not like her. Amelia is the most on task, happy, hardworking assistant I’ve ever had. Even when I gave her shit, she still smiled through it. Lately, though, since all this drama with Alex, she’s more reserved and is handling me with kid gloves. It’s annoying as hell, but I’m sure I deserved it. I fucking snapped if someone even says hi to me.

“Hey Amelia, what’s up?” I muttered, trying to sound as normal as possible, but even I can tell it’s forced.

“There’s a Detective Lewis here to see you,” she says warily. I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes, wondering how long this was going to take. This wasn't something I needed today. Detective Lewis is the officer who’s been working with Alex on the case against Tanner. She’s been with her since the beginning, and Alex seemed to trust her, according to Jack and Matt— Alex’s best friends’ husbands. They’re also her legal counsel so they can’t give me any details, but it made me feel better knowing that they’re there for her.

“Sure, send her in.”

I sat there drumming my pen on the desk. Either that, or my foot would be tapping under the desk. It was a nervous habit I picked up since meeting Alex.

Detective Lewis was a nice looking thirty-something woman with brown hair which was pulled back in a severely tight ponytail. Even though she had a serious expression on her face, she also had a very compassionate smile where you could see the sincerity in her eyes. She walked over to my desk, and I got up, straightening the cuffs on my shirtsleeves, trying to pull myself together. I forced myself to comearound to shake her hand. She reminded me of all those TV shows, where underestimating the policewoman was a bad idea.

The detective reintroduced herself again. “Mr. King, I’m Detective Danielle Lewis. I’m in charge of Miss Kennedy’s case.”

“Yes, I remember,” I said as politely as I could. What I really remember was her telling me to leave the hospital because Alex thought I attacked her.