Page 7 of With Wine Comes War
I took a shower to see if that would help then went through all the calls and texts that came in while I was asleep. I stood at the kitchen island leaning on the counter sifting through the messages. Most of them were from Harrison and Amelia wondering if I was okay, or coming back to the office. There was a text from Matt letting me know Alex actually spoke to the girls at class today. I was happy she was talking to them again. He said she wanted to start going to brunch with her friends again. Good, some signs of normalcy. I wish I knew if I should try and contact her or not. I didn’t want to communicate through her friends because I didn’t want her to push them away again.
Yep, this was really pretty sad. I definitely needed to get my shit together. This wasn’t helping anybody. Harrison may have been on to something. I stood up and walked back toward my bedroom to change. Timeto call Doctor Mom.
***
ALEX
“Hey Jerkface!” Maggie yelled into the phone as she answered. I couldn’t help the smile that lit up my face hearing my friend’s greeting. I missed them so much. Not having them to talk to was really hard. I know they won’t understand how I’m feeling though, and they’ll try and fix me, but this is not something that can be fixed with a girl’s night out or a Sunday brunch. This is some serious mind fuck, and I had to work through it somehow.
I responded in kind, “Hey bitches!” I tried to sound like the old me as much as possible while also maneuvering this big SUV back to my apartment while getting on and off the highway. My focus should really be on the road. This phone call could’ve waited.
Abby sounded excited, “Hell yeah, there’s our girl.”
“Well, I can’t guarantee I won’t go silent again, but I would like it if we could do brunch on Sunday.”
“You mean you return to brunch again. We never stopped.” Maggie rebuked.
I laughed, happy that they didn’t go into depression mode too.
“I deserve that. Abby, how’s the baby bun?”
Abby’s pregnancy should be something to keep me happy, since it will mean having another godchild.
“We’re doing well,” She said, “we just miss our threesome. And what do you mean you can’t guarantee you won’t go silent again?”
“I don’t know Abbs. I just have a lot going on and I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.” I took a breath and tried to keep the conversation light…“ I totally miss our threesome too. Oh and also, I won’t be doing the Monday class anymore. Just Wednesday kickboxing. I decided to get some private training.” There was a moment of silence before Maggie spoke up.
“You planning to do that MMA fighting for real?”
“No, not in competition. I just want to learn to control the crazy a bit. You know, an outlet.”
Abby snorted and said, “Good luck with that.”Seriously? Well, maybe she has a point.
“Are you insinuating I might be too crazy?” I said, rolling my eyes already knowing the answer to that.
“Oops, did I say that out loud?!” Abby asked in a cutesy voice. We all laughed, and I was able to relax for the first time in three weeks since all this shit happened.
I think enough time has gone by that I can start reaching out to see how people are doing. I think tomorrow I’ll go see Shay and Grant at the real estate office. I should find out how they’re working together. I felt like such a jerk for dumping all that work on Grant and basically abandoning Shay. I needed this time, though, to figure out the next steps and clear my mind. Tonight, however, I think I’m going to sleep well.
***
I was jerked out of sleep soaked in a cold sweat, the alarm sounding. I grabbed my phone to shut it off and thought, what in the hell was that? Usually, it’s my mom telling me the same thing she did to wake me up in the hospital. I thought I was good last night when I went to sleep. That dream or whatever that was, was messed up. I was making love to Roman, and his face turned into Tanner. Thank God for the alarm. I have to get to the gym and try to get this garbage out of my head. I pushed the covers back and hurried to get dressed.
I got a lot out of my system this morning– swam laps, even. Usually, it’s too crowded to swim laps. The sauna is my absolute favorite,though. It melts the tension right out of me even though my mind wandered to that dream–mostly the part about making love to Roman. Does that mean I’m starting to feel normal about him again? I can’t get distracted right now and he doesn’t need all the drama in his life. I should just let it go and concentrate on the case. I leaned against the wooden slats as the wet heat from the sauna dripped off me, taking the toxic thoughts from my mind with it.
Finding something to wear seemed like a chore these days since I had nowhere to dress for. I’m going to the office just to check on everyone. I sat in the closet looking at all my work clothes wondering what I should do with them. I grabbed a pair of ripped skinny jeans off the hanger and threw them on. I grabbed a white t-shirt from dresser to go with it. I slipped into my white leather Adidas court sneakers and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. I snagged a bottle of water quickly out of the fridge and tossed the strap of my crossbody bag over my chest, then opened the front door.
“What the f…?” I looked both ways down the hall to see if anyone was still here. The concierge must’ve brought them up. The biggest, most colorful bouquet of flowers was left right in front of my door. I almost tripped over them. I brought them in and sat them on the counter then snatched the card to read in the car. They’re so beautiful. I have no idea what kind they are except for the few African daisies. It reminded me of the bouquet Roman had brought me. They matched the inside of my apartment perfectly, which made me think I might know who they’re from. I opened the card, ready to see Roman’s name. I guess I didn’t quite have him right in my head yet. I really needed to see a doctor and find out what’s going on.
“Alex, I hope these flowers find you well and make you smile. Amelia.”
Well shit, I felt like a total jerk again. I was just getting to know Amelia– we were becoming friends. I felt like the invite was still open but she’s Roman’s assistant and they’re quite chummy. Not sure it’s such a good idea to go there right now. I should at least call her and say thank you.
She answered with that bubbly personality of hers. “King Construction. Roman King’s office.” My heart skipped a beat, and my stomach did flips just hearing his name. I sunk into the seat of my car and sighed as I laid my head back against the headrest and a single tear fell down my cheek. I brushed it away and pulled myself together before speaking.
“Hey Amelia, it’s Alex.” I mumbled out, hoping she wasn’t mad at me for hurting Roman.
“Hey girl. How are you?” She sounded so upbeat, it was refreshing. I was sick of all the sympathetic greetings. With her I was more worried about being chastised.