Page 52 of Ford
Yeah, that was probably for the best.
“Ford, I need to tell you something,” she said, glancing at him. “I’m…I’m leaving the Navy.”
He stopped. Stared at her. “What?”
She stepped up on a curb, rising to nearly his eye level. Sighed. “My mother and Axel were in a fatal car accident. That’s why…well, that’s where I was. Burying my mother.”
What? “Oh, Red. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me? I would have—”
“Gone with me? Taken leave? No. You know my mother and I weren’t close, so it’s sad, but I knew that someday I’d get a call that she’d overdosed or caused a head-on collision. I’m just grateful they didn’t hurt anyone else. Crashed into a tree. No one found them until morning. They’d left Gunnar home, alone. Poor kid.”
“That’s terrible. Still, I could have gone with you.”
“I appreciate your friendship, Ford, but I learned long ago that I have to solve my problems on my own.”
He supposed that came from having an addict for a mother, one who was living on the road or shacking up with one boyfriend after the next.
But how he hated the thought of her standing alone at her mother’s— “Where is Gunnar in all this?”
“Oh, it’s terrible. Foster care. His coach and his teacher showed up with a social worker and practically dragged him away…”
“Oh geez.” He couldn’t stop himself from pulling her into his arms. Just a friendly hug, but she seemed to hold on to him, to sigh, as if it had been the right thing to do. He let her go before he got into trouble.
“That’s why you’re leaving the Navy.”
“Yeah. He needs a home. I was abandoned enough as a kid to know I can’t leave him in foster care.”
That stunk. She’d worked so hard to pass her PRT, to be accepted into the Rescue Swimmer program. “Are you sure you want to leave the military? It’s a good gig, even for families…”
“But not if I’m his only caregiver. Who would he stay with when I was deployed?”
His brain offered nothing.
“This is pitiful, but that’s why I agreed to come with you. Because I knew that this would probably be the last time…” She sighed. “I’m not going to be the voice in your ear anymore, so, I guess this is our last soiree.”
And he was a jerk because all he could think of at the moment was…
No more complications.
If she wasn’t in the military, then…
No, no… He blew out a breath, looked away.
Don’t say anything. Don’t turn to her and pull her to yourself and kiss her.
Don’t—
“I’m sorry. I let you down, didn’t I?” she said, completely reading him wrong. “After all you did to help me pass, and…I’m sorry, Ford.”
He looked at her. “Seriously? The last person you should be thinking about is me.”
She recoiled, hurt in her eyes, and he realized he’d come in hot. He backed his voice down. “Listen, are you sure you have to separate? Can’t you…I don’t know. Certainly you’re not the only single, um, parent, in the military…”
His brain was telling him to shut up because inside, his Neanderthal self was saying,Hoo-yah, now you can be mine.
Apparently, he hadn’t progressed as far down the socially progressive highway as he’d thought.
But he couldn’t be her friend and just let her dreams spill through her hands.