Page 40 of Rage's Solace
Knowing that I’m between a rock and hard place, I swallow my pride and tell her, “Yes, ma’am.”
I’ve gone from fierce and strong back to being a doormat with alarming speed. It’s what makes me realize that I was never strong. It was the false sense of security of having Rage at my side that made me feel that way.
Rage has a kind of inner strength that I will never have. He’s brash, speaks his mind, and skillfully uses humor to drive his point home. He’s an upstanding member of his community and has not only managed to build a life for himself, he’s been adopted into a wonderful family that’s filled with love. Sure, Meli may be cunning and outspoken but deep down inside, she’s good people. Then there’s his club. He’s a good brother who is highly valued by his club. That’s why they pulled together to help him with all the problems I brought to his doorstep.
Even though he’s kind and empathetic, he doesn’t tolerate fools, liars, or manipulators. Neither Rage, nor the other people in his life are going to forgive me for not coming clean about Mia possibly being his child.
***
Frannie stops by to pick up both the girls, which isn’t all that surprising, since Amy and Louisa are practically joined at the hip. I make nice and cut the small talk short. Mia is standing on the stairs staring at my exchange with Frannie. When I turn, she speaks in a quiet monotone, “Did I say something wrong to Rage? He left really quickly.”
I walk over to the bottom of the stairs, and we walk up to the second floor together. I put my hands on her shoulders and turn her around so I can look her in the eyes. “No sweetheart, everything will be fine. But Grandma and Grandpa are coming, they want to talk to us about something.”
“Grandma’s dead” Mia says looking confused.
“Not Grandma Whitmore, I mean my parents.”
“But we never see them,” Mia hugs her toy cat tighter. It seems in this moment she’s gone from a confident tween into a scared little girl.
“They want to talk to me about something,” I tell her.
Actually I want to talk to them. In the weeks that I’ve been with Rage I’ve grown a backbone. I want to know what happened all those years ago, why they did this to me.
Mia looks at me with her big green eyes, Rage’s green eyes, and I take her hand. “Mia, I need to talk to you about your father. Your real father.”
“Daddy’s dead.”
I let out a sigh, this probably wasn’t the time or the place. And ideally, I’d want to know for sure before saying anything, but Mia has clearly picked up on the fact that something is wrong, “I think Rage might be your daddy.”
Her eyes go wide, “Really?”
I nod, “After we’ve been to see your grandparents, tonight Rage and I need to have a talk, all of us do.”
“But he’s my daddy?” she asks.
“I don’t know for sure sweetheart, that’s what we need to talk about,” Mia is too young to understand everything that happened, and she’s too young to be told about Ashton or how I ended up marrying Conrad.
“I’d like him to be my daddy, he’d be the best daddy in the world,” she says as she squeezes her stuffed toy tightly.
He would.
This child of mine has always looked younger than her true age. And right now she seems more fragile and vulnerable than ever. I don’t think I look any more put together as I wait for my parents to arrive. From today, my life is never going to be the same as it was, I only hope that Rage will be there at my side throughout whatever’s coming.
Chapter 15
Rage
My first stop is at a local lab that a friend of mine works at. I deliver the uncolored strand of Mia’s hair along with one of my own to Maggie, an older woman I once met when her husband had a heart attack while waiting for her to finish grocery shopping. She came out to find me giving him CPR in the parking lot and we still speak when we run into each other. I fill out the form asking for a DNA match, slide the samples into a sterile container and pay the fee.
When she reaches out her gloved to hand to take the container, I hang onto it for a second as I quietly ask, “Can you put a rush on this job?”
The older woman looks at me intently. “I can try, we’re swamped right now. I might be able to process it by the end of the week, if not by next week for sure. Is that fast enough?”
“Yes. That’s perfect. Thank you for seeing to this personally. I owe you one.”
Her expression morphs into one of gratitude. “You paid a lifetime of favors in advance. Ralph, told me to tell you hi when I see you again.”
“Tell him I say hello back and that we should go out for lunch sometime.”