Page 35 of Up All Night
He sounded earnest, but I wasn’t sure. I stayed silent even as Sean’s eyes went wide, the sort of pleading that usually had me giving in under other circumstances.
“It’s not. I want to date you.”
A loud, sputtery noise escaped my chest.
“Date isn’t a four-letter word, Denver.” Sean poked me lightly in the chest.
“Actually, it is.” I poked him right back.
“Be serious. I’m serious,” said the guy who was still tomato red. But earnest. So earnest. “I want to date you. And I’m not an idiot. I know that means coming out.”
“Does it?” I propped my head on my hand.
“It does. And I’m going to.”
“Don’t come out for me.” I sat all the way up. His insistence had gone from cute to terrifying. He was serious. He wanted to date. Date me. Gulp. “I’m a bad bet. I can’t promise you?—”
“Your turn to hush.” Sitting as well, he laid a finger across my lips. “Even if you don’t want anything more than sex, this thing has changed me. Wait. That’s not it. It’srevealedme. I see myself clearly now after forty-three years. I feel foolish that I didn’t know—or rather, let myself know—earlier in life. Coming out? Over forty? When I have two kids and had a twenty-year marriage? It’s a bit daunting.”
His voice echoed some of my own terror, so I captured his hand. “You don’t have to.”
“You’re not listening.” Sean was back to that stubborn tone. “I do have to. For me. In my own time and my own way. But I do have to come out, and I want you to trust me that it’s going to happen.”
“I’m sure you intend?—”
Sean cut me off with one of those deft first responder moves of his, getting me flat on my back and him straddling me in half a second. “Swear to God, if you give me the you’re-a-nice-guy speech right now, we will have words.”
“Aren’t we having words right now?”
“You drive me crazy.”
“And that’s why—” I didn’t get to finish that thought either. Sean kissed me hard and fast, and I almost forgot my own name, let alone why dating would be a bad idea.
Sean pulled away with a satisfied grin. “We should give this thing a shot. I can’t get you out of my head. And even when you’re annoying the ever-loving fuck out of me, I still want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“More than my hash browns?” I tried to tease, but my voice came out far too somber.
“More than hash browns. More than pineapple. More than chocolate. More than bacon.” Sean grinned down at me, the tenderness in his eyes the scariest thing I’d ever seen.
“Whoa there. More than bacon? You are serious.”
“I am.” Sean wouldn’t let me look away, wouldn’t let me hide behind another joke. “Trust me. Please? I don’t want to keep you a secret forever. I need time, but I’m not out to fuck you over.”
“Nah, you’re out to get fucked.” I waggled my eyebrows at him, loving his frustrated laugh almost as much as the kiss he gave me.
“True.”
I pulled him down for another kiss and then another. Hoping we’d left this dating topic for now, I rocked my hips up to meet him, shifting until our cocks aligned. He gave in with a groan, grinding against me. I kissed him harder, swallowing his moans. For once, I didn’t feel the need to direct or give orders.
Instead, I simply rode the perfect wave of kissing and grinding, letting go of all my worries until my biggest question was whether to reach for the lube or not. My heels dug into the mattress. No way was I going to come before Sean. I grabbed his hips, pulling him?—
“Wait.” Sean held up a hand.
“Yes?” I blinked, eyes decidedly bleary. “You want to stop. Now?”
“You’re going to get me off again.”
“And?”