Page 12 of Reckless With You

“Well, that would do it. Do women have brogues, or is it only men in kilts on romance novels?” I asked, still looking at my wine. Maybe if I kept looking at it, it would make everything better.

Spoiler: it wasn’t going to make everything better.

“I don’t really know. I’ve never really thought about it. It’s usually just the wordaccentthat you use. Butbroguesounds so sexy when it comes to Scottish.” Zoey grinned, shaking her head. “And I didn’t really get a look at the Scottish women. They could have been sexy.”

“Didn’t you date a Scottish woman once?” I asked, grinning.

It wasn’t really a grin, more like a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. Or maybe one of those manic ones that said everything was okay, that I wouldn’t have to throw myself off a bridge so I didn’t feel like this anymore.

“Yes, for like a day.” Zoey grinned. “She was nice, but we didn’t fit time-wise. Her brother asked me out too, but I don’t date siblings.” As my friend didn’t tend to date at all, that was saying something.

“Did she make you eat haggis?” Erin asked, sounding far too innocent. There was nothing innocent about Erin. She was dating my brother. I knew things.

Too many things.

Things I did not want to know. Ever.

“No, I tried haggis on my own.”

Erin shuddered, and I snorted.

“We went to that pub and tried a bite of it. It wasn’t that bad,” I said. Erin looked at me aghast.

“What?” I asked and then looked down at my wine.

Nope, still had problems. Maybe I should actually drink it.

“Haggis. Gross.”

“Anyway, before we go off on a Scottish tangent, and we’re just going to sayaccentfor now and only think ofbroguewhen we’re talking about Scots in kilts in historical times…”

“Okay, if that’s what helps you sleep at night,” Erin said, laughing.

“Thank you. I’m going to have great dreams tonight, thinking about hot Scottish men in kilts. And only kilts.” Zoey sighed with an overdramatic, dreamy sound, and I knew she was trying to make jokes to make me laugh. But it would be hard to get me to laugh right then. And I hated myself a little bit for it. Because it was totally my fault. All my fault.

“Anyway. Tobey is a twat.”

“You’re going to make me get a t-shirt that says that, aren’t you?” I asked, looking between my friends.

“Definitely,” they said at the same time, then looked at each other and laughed.

“And he isn’t a twat.Iwas the twat.” I looked down at my glass and finally took a big sip. Okay, it was a gulp. Actually, it was like three-quarters of the glass.

Erin gave me a sad smile and then refilled the glass.

I really had true friends here. They didn’t even have to ask, and they didn’t judge when they filled my glass.

“Tobey is a twat, not you,” Erin said. “And I’m not going to saytwatany more. Except for just then. Regardless, he was an idiot. A jerk. And he was mean.”

“How was he mean?” I asked, being truly honest with myself. “How is saying he doesn’t love me mean? I get it. He doesn’t have to love me. Just because I fell in love with him and thought I wasinlove with my best friend, even though there was clearly nothing between us like that, doesn’t mean he’s a horrible person. It simply means I need to read signals better. And not try to do the big moments. Because that was stupid. Oh my God, that was so stupid.” I buried my head in my hands and tried not to picture it.

But I couldn’t help it. It kept replaying in my mind. I knew this was going to be another of those things like the chair incident in school all over again, where all I ever did was think about it when I tried to sleep. Or like if I ever saw my life flash before my eyes if I got into an accident. Or if I was just nervous about something, it would be what came to mind to worry me. Always. No matter what. This is what I would think about now.

And there was no turning back from it.

“Okay, I see where you’re coming from. But we are going to break that down a bit,” Zoey said, and Erin nodded quickly.

“First,” Erin said, “I know about idiots. I married one.”