Page 87 of Reckless With You
And I hadn’t known how to go back to him afterwards to try and help.
Because what if I was wrong? What if I made the same mistakes as I had with Tobey and messed it all up even more?
I didn’t think he loved me. Because that hadn’t been in the cards. It had been a rule. And because of that, I would simply let him lean on his other friends, let him depend on Devin because I would not be the person who ruined another friendship because of my feelings.
Even if I wasn’t sure what I felt anymore.
“Okay, enough of that,” Thea said as she sat down next to me, handing me a glass of wine. I looked at my sister-in-law and just grinned. “You look cheery.”
“I can’t help it. I love this family. And I love that you’re all coming down to the Springs tomorrow to celebrate Christmas with the Montgomerys.”
“Well, as long as it’s not all of you.”
“Hey, it’s only the immediate family. And all their spouses. My cousins aren’t going to be down there. Don’t worry, you will not be completely inundated.”
“Only a little bit,” Dimitri said, laughing.
“See? Everything’s fine. Now, have a sip of your wine, and then come and open your present.”
“I still find it weird that you guys open a single present on Christmas Eve,” Erin said, shaking her head. “We always used to open all of our presents on Christmas Eve and save one for Christmas morning.”
“Well that’s just strange,” Caleb said, leaning against the doorway. “Like, really strange. Are you sure you’re not like some pod person?”
“You’re lucky my sister is with her husband’s family, or she would kick your ass for that comment,” Erin said as she leaned into Devin’s side.
Devin kissed the top of her head before looking at me, giving me a worried glance.
I smiled brightly, hoping it reached my eyes. Because I was fine. No one needed to worry about me anymore. We all needed to worry about Tucker. The elephant in the room. Or rather, the elephantnotin the room since he wasn’t here. He had been invited. Devin had sent him a text a few days ago and had even sent him another recently. But he hadn’t come. Hadn’t contacted anyone either.
Nobody knew if he had gotten the test results back or if he was donating bone marrow or even how the little boy was doing.
“Before we go more into the weirdness of our families, I want to say something,” Devin said, and Caleb and Dimitri looked at each other.
“Okay,” I said quickly. “What?”
“Tucker’s not here.”
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
“Oh, shut up,” Caleb snapped. “It’s not your fault.”
“It’s a little my fault,” I said quickly.
“No. It’s not your fault. He’s going through something, and when he goes through shit, he pushes people away. He’s always been like that. Even before you two got together.” Devin narrowed his eyes. “And don’t apologize for the lying or whatever. I know you two ended up being together for real.”
“I don’t know if that’s the case,” I said, my voice shaking a bit. Then I swallowed hard and ignored it. I could be strong for this. “And that doesn’t matter.”
“Itdoesmatter,” Zoey said, coming to stand behind Caleb. I noticed that the two pointedly didn’t look at each other. Something was going on there, and I really didn’t understand it. But I had my own problems to deal with, and I wasn’t going to get in the middle of theirs. Not unless they needed me to or asked.
Great, I was becoming the exact type of person I tried to push away. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed them away to begin with.
“As I was saying,” Devin continued, “Tucker isn’t here. I’m giving him today. But tomorrow? I’m going over to his house to make sure he’s okay.”
“We’re going, too,” Caleb and Dimitri said at the same time, then looked at each other before shrugging.
“If you want me to go, I’ll go. I just don’t know if he wants to see me,” I said, looking down at my hands.
Thea reached out and gripped my hand before taking the wine glass away and putting it down on the table.