Page 33 of Forever Only Once

I groaned. “I still don’t know why I said yes,” I said truthfully.

“Because you want to go on a date with him for real?” she asked, and I snorted. It was good to laugh, mostly because I didn’t know why I was doing it.

“Do you want us to come over and have some girls’ time to help you pick out what to wear and do your hair?” Paris asked. This time, I laughed in truth.

“I’m really all right. I have done this before, you know.”

“Yes, you’ve done this before. But this is a little different, isn’t it?” she asked.

“I don’t want it to be too different,” I said honestly. “It’s been a while since I’ve been on a second date.”

“If it helps, you can think of it as a second first date since the first one was out of the box,” she said.

“Maybe. Or perhaps I’m just going to lose my mind. We’re going out to dinner, and we’re meeting there. Mostly because I don’t want him to know where I live,” I said quickly and then regretted it instantly.

There was a pause, and I knew that Paris was trying to think of the best thing to say. “I don’t blame you. All women need to feel safe. And with what you’ve been through? You need to be extra careful. It’s understandable that you wouldn’t want people to know where you live, especially when you don’t know him. I have friends, someone who can run a background check on him if you want,” Paris said quickly. “I mean, we’ve already done the whole social media thing, but I’m sure there are other people we can ask.”

I shook my head and then remembered that she couldn’t actually see me.

“I don’t need you to run a background check.” I had already done that, but I didn’t tell her as much. After all, some people from my past had tried to help me with Thomas. They hadn’t failed, precisely, but nobody had won with the final outcome.

“Anyway, all of us will come over and help you get ready if you want,” Paris said again.

“I’m just going to finish grading, get through some of my other work for the day, and then I’ll get ready.”

“Wow, that sounds so romantic for how you’re going to get ready for this big date,” Paris said, pure sarcasm in her tone.

“Oh, shush. I have things to do, and I can’t focus my entire life on prepping for a date that’ll probably just end up a disaster.”

I hadn’t meant to say that last part.

“So, you’re going into it thinking it’ll be a pure disaster?” Paris asked.

“No, I’m going into it without hope for the best. If I do that, I’ll be safer.”

“That’s a telling statement,” Paris said dryly. “Just remember, we went into this whole pact of ours to try and branch out. Not to be alone anymore. If you go into your date thinking that it’s going to end badly, then you’re going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“Or, maybe that’s just how life is.” I paused. “I’m not good at this, Paris. I shouldn’t have been the first one. Myra would’ve been better at this. Or even you.”

Paris laughed. “I’m not going to take that as a jab with you adding the even. And maybe the others will be better than us at dating. But if that was the case thus far, we wouldn’t be here at all.”

“I just don’t want to end up ruining things any more than they already are,” I said honestly.

“But what do you mean by that?” Paris asked.

I frowned. “I have no idea. I just know I wasn’t happy before. And Cross seems like a great guy. He was great because it was fun and unexpected. When I see him again, what if it’s anything but?”

“You won’t know until you try,” Paris said.

“You know, I’m going to be just as pushy as you are when you do this.”

“Perhaps. But first, you have to get through your sets of dates.”

“Wait, I think we mixed a big loophole in this whole dating pact thing,” I said suddenly, leaning forward. “When does the next person start?”

“When we are all satisfied that you have fulfilled your promise.”

“What does that mean? And don’t you dare say marriage. Because that’s ridiculous.”