Page 83 of Forever Only Once

“I just need to breathe. Thank you for being here, but I can do this on my own.”

Paris opened her mouth to speak again, but Dakota shook her head.

“We’ll give you some space for now. Because we love you. But we’re not leaving you alone again. And honestly, we’re not leaving you alone completely.”

“I know,” I whispered, my voice wooden.

“We’re not staying gone for long,” Paris said, glaring at me. But then they all leaned forward. They didn’t hug me because I was in pain, but they did run their hands down my arms before leaving me alone.

I lay in my hospital bed for another hour, listening to the nurses come and go. When the doctor said I could leave, that there were three women outside ready to take me home, I didn’t hold back a smile. I didn’t have anything to smile about, but I did let the warmth slide through me for a bare instant before it iced over.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“You’re welcome. We’ll talk soon,” the doctor said. Then, I was alone again, just like I wanted.

I changed into sweats and a long-sleeved shirt that one of the girls had brought me, and then I slid my feet into my slip-on shoes, wondering where they had taken my other clothes.

I didn’t want them back, but I did wonder.

I walked towards the door, and the girls were there, all standing close and ready to help.

“Can I have a few more minutes? I want to see Cross,” I said.

“Of course,” Dakota said.

“Just don’t do anything stupid,” Paris said.

I smiled again, but I knew it likely looked forced. “Of course,” I echoed.

The girls led me down the hall to the right where the Bradys were sitting, all in various states of pacing or worry.

They looked up at me when I got there, and I held back a flinch.

I didn’t want to see their anger or their pain.

Arden spoke first.

“They’ve already let us all in to see them,” Arden said quickly. “But there’s still some time that you can go in if you want.”

“Yes, I need to see him,” I whispered, my voice shaky.

“Of course. Our parents are on their way, they’re just catching a flight,” she said, rambling.

I looked at the others in the room, the man who had to be Arden’s husband, the other two that looked like Cross, who were probably Nate and Prior. But I wasn’t really focusing on them. I needed to keep moving.

I heard Nate draw in a breath, and I looked over my shoulder to see him staring at Myra. But then he turned, and so did she. I didn’t have the brainpower to focus on what was happening.

I just kept moving, had to keep going.

Another nurse and Arden led me to one of the rooms, and I nodded and smiled as we walked, and they talked, but I wasn’t really listening.

“Macon is next door. They’re both going to be fine,” Arden whispered.

And then her husband was there, holding his wife as tears slid down her cheeks. I still couldn’t cry. I couldn’t do much of anything.

Instead, I walked in and saw Cross lying on the bed, his eyes closed, his breathing deep as monitors beeped, and his IV pumped fluids into his body.

I didn’t even know the details about what had happened or what kind of surgery he’d had.