Page 28 of Far from Destined
“I’m still figuring out exactly why I do it. Other than I like it. I don’t know if I need it, but I like it.”
“But you’re being safe?” I asked softly.
“As safe as I can be.”
“I’m not sure where I stand on that,” I whispered.
“I’m trying to find where I stand, as well.” We were both silent for a moment before he spoke again.
“Talk to me,” he whispered.
“My ex is out of jail,” I blurted, and he stared at me, then leaned forward and cupped my cheek.
I didn’t even know if he realized he had done it. I froze, not letting myself lean in to the touch, even though I desperately wanted to. I didn’t know what was happening between us, what I wanted, what I should feel. I just knew that I had to push him away so I could breathe. Because I was worried. And because he was…here for me.
I couldn’t trust myself. I’d already made that mistake before. I couldn’t do it again.
“Your ex.” He paused. “Joshua’s father?”
I gritted my teeth when he let go. I felt bereft. “I used to call him the sperm donor, but that’s cruel, especially around Joshua. But, yes, Adam’s the one who got me pregnant.”
“And he was in jail,” Macon said slowly.
“Your brothers never mentioned any of this?” I asked.
“No, I don’t even know if Cross and Prior know anything.” He paused. “Or if Myra and Nate talk to each other.”
“Let’s not go there,” I added with a dry laugh, wondering how I could even find humor at all.
“You’re right. However, my brothers haven’t talked to me about any of this. That is if Hazel and Paris have even spoken to them about your past. I don’t believe they would betray your confidence like that.”
“Oh.” I let out a shaky breath. “That’s good.”
“He was in jail, then?” he asked again.
“Yes, he’s not a good guy.” I chuffed a laugh. “That is the least I can say about it. Let’s just say he was, likely still is, a horrible person. And I fell into him and didn’t realize who he was until it was too late for me to get out. He hurt me,” I said quickly.
Macon’s gaze narrowed. “That’s why when you saw the blood on my knuckles after the fight, you reacted as you did.”
“Partly.” I wasn’t sure if I was ready to dive into my true feelings on that, about how the idea of Macon hurt had sent me into a tailspin. “Adam wasn’t a good man when we were together. He still isn’t as far as I know. He didn’t end up in jail because of hitting me. Or doing whatever else he wanted to with me.” Bile filled my mouth at the words, but I didn’t want to go into detail. Thankfully, Macon didn’t ask.
“Why was he in jail, then?” he asked softly.
“Drugs. They got Adam on possession, yet he didn’t have enough on him to get any real time. Joshua’s six now, and he’s never met his father. I got out when I could, ran away, bleeding and in pain. But I got out. And now, well, Adam is out.”
I hadn’t meant to say so much, but there was no going back now.
“Are you safe?” Macon asked, looking around me as if Adam could show up at any minute. And, honestly, he could.
Chills broke out over my arms, but I ignored them. I had to. “I don’t know. The detective on my case is an asshole and doesn’t care. There’s a restraining order in place, but a piece of paper isn’t going to help me if Adam shows up.”
“And you and I are standing out here in the dark right now? What the fuck, Dakota?”
“We’re as safe as I can be for now. Adam isn’t going to show up when you’re around,” I said, and Macon’s brows rose.
“Excuse me?” he asked.
“He’s a wimp. A coward. He hit me because I was weaker. And I know he likely would’ve done something to Joshua if he’d had a chance. I got away with my son, and I’ve kept Joshua safe all this time. But he’s afraid. Adam, that is. He was always afraid of those bigger than him. Of those who could hurt him.”