Page 112 of Under the Waves
“I can’t—” he gasped, teeth chattering violently against one another as his shoulders heaved. “I can’t breathe, Poppy. I feel like I’m dying. You can’t let me die.Please,Wellsy.”
All his words flooded out of his mouth in a single breath as if he was desperate to get them all out—genuine terror laced each one. His grip on my fingers tightened as his breaths crept closer together again. Lips dropped open in panic as air outran him. He squeezed so hard I thought he might cut off all the circulation to my fingers.
“You’re not dying, do you hear me, Jasper Ridge? You are forbidden from dying on me, okay? If you do, I swear to God, I will storm through the gates of hell and personally choke you myself.”
A small laugh escaped his lips as he wheezed, doubling over. I caught his weight as he slumped against me, body rattling with the force of a thousand earthquakes. My chest constricted, twisting painfully as I held him. His head fell against my chest as his fingers tapped gently against my hip at a slightly rushedrhythm.
He was tapping to the rhythm of my heartbeat.
I pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head, which was a mess of sticky brown curls and as hot as the surface of the sun. With one hand I drew small patterns of all shapes and sizes across his back, letting my fingers dance across his skin that trembled and burned beneath my touch.
“Just listen to me, okay? You may feel like you’re dying right now but the feeling will pass. You just have to trust me on this one.” I took in a breath before I continued. “Do you remember when we were little, all of those little pranks we used to pull on each other? God we were such little shits back then, no wonder the whole world thought we would be each other’s demise.”
A small smile fell across my lips as I started to recall this one memory in particular. “There was this one prank, though, that I can’t seem to shake. I remember being so mad at you one day, the reason lost to me now, but I spent the entire day planning how to get back at you. And not just some mediocre level revenge, but some really well-plannedI’m super fucking pissed at you right now I want to pull you apart to pieceskind of revenge. Anyway, I remember storming down to the beach down those old wooden boards that were always covered in sand and droplets of dripping water from passing wetsuits and surfboards and seeing you standing there and talking to Jakson so casually it made my blood boil.How could you just be so casual after pissing me off so spectacularly? So, instead of the revenge plan I’d spent the entire day coming up with and perfecting, I took one look at your lonely little board laying on the sand and decided that I would hide it from you. Embarrassing you in front of your friends was probably my main goal because, of course, how could anyone compete without a surfboard? So I hid it behind the showers. I know, very clever of little me. She was way ahead of her time. And when you noticed it was missing, and saw me looking a little too pleased with myself, do you remember what you did?”
I could feel his heartbeat calming with every word I spoke, and after a long pause, he whispered, “Handcuffed you.”
I smiled, letting out a breath. “I know, I still can’t believe you did that, even now. Your stupid, annoying smart boy ass decided it would be a good idea to handcuff me to the medical tent. Where did you even get the handcuffs from anyway?”
“Jakson,” he gasped.
I laughed, despite myself. “NowthatI can believe. I was sitting there on the sand for a good half an hour trying to see if I could pick the locks with one of my hair pins like they did in the movies, and trust me, it isnotas easy as it looks.”
“How did you get out?” he heaved, shivering against me.
“I slammed all my weight into the pole, sending it and me tumbling over onto the sand like a fool.Youturned me into a fool, Jasper Ridge.”
“A fool for me.” He tried to smile but that golden, playboy smile failed him.
“Yeah,” I sighed, “a fool for you. I marched right up to where you were standing on the beach with a massive seven-foot pole in my hand with the full intention of launching it at that smug little grin on your face, but because you justlovedto annoy me, you caught the stupid thing andwinkedat me. I remember my little hands scrunching up into fists by my side, and my words being something along the lines of, ‘you are beyond aggravating, Jasper Ridge.’ And do you remember what you said to me? ‘you look good in handcuffs, Wellsy.’”
He let out a small, strained laugh. “Sounds like me.”
“You scooped me up bridal style and carried me towards the waves, and no matter how many times I screamed or whacked your chest with my fists, you didn’t stop until you were up to your knees in salt water. My shorts and the bottom of my t-shirt were drenched, and you could not stop smiling at me, even though I wanted to rip that goofy grin from your face and feed it to the sharks. You told me that you would keep walking unless I told you where I hid your board, and it wasn’t until we were practically swimming did I finally blurt out where I’d kept it stashed away. But even after all that, you told me that you’d known all along and wanted to see how far you could go before I blurted out the truth. I was beyond fuming at that point, but it all changed after you not so subtly shouted something across the entire beach.”
“Tonight, Wellsy…and I’ll show you that Jasper Ridge fucks better.” He recited through clattering teeth. “You never showed up that night.” The words he spoke were barely above a whisper. I almost missed them entirely. Shaking his head, he continued. “Did you still feel angry at me after?”
“Oh, yeah,” I hummed, my voice trailing off to a halt. Perhaps part of me did know back then that he unnerved me like no other. That he was different from them all, yet my perfect symmetrical match. I’d wasted so many years of my life hating him, when really, he was the only person who had ever understood me right from the start. All those years, I’d been a blind fool because he was rightthere.
I just didn’t see it.
“I almost thought about…” He whispered slowly as if the words were too difficult to get out. “I never had as much courage as you, Wellsy. Still don’t.”
Unknowingly, I held my breath as I asked carefully, “What stopped you?”
“One look at Lia’s siblings building sandcastles with her and Jakson. That’s all it took. I just couldn’t do it knowing I’d leave them thinking their Uncle Jas didn’t love them enough to stay, tofightfor them. They’re only kids, Poppy, yet they’ve seen enough trauma to last them a lifetime. I couldn’t be another burden to them. I couldn’t do it. And Belle…little Belle, she’s so afraid, Poppy. All the time. I love all her siblings equally, don’t get me wrong, but Belle is my little girl. She’s so talented and beautiful and she doesn’t even know it! I refuse to die until she does. I can’t leave her, not like Gabriel did. I won’t do that to her.”
In a sudden movement, Jasper jumped up from my lap and onto his feet, brushing off the sand from his wetsuit. He whipped the back of his hand against his forehead, washing away the beads of sweat that had accumulated there and turned away from me.
“Jasper—”
“Don’t,” his voice shook. “Don’t look at me right now. You should go Poppy, the qualifying start soon and we both know you won’t be needed.”
My brows knit in confusion as I rose to my feet. “What are you talking about? Jasper—”
“Please,Poppy.” He bit the side of his cheek as his eyes looked everywhere but mine. “Please.” His voice broke on that last word.
“No, Jasper. You can’t push me away, not after what just happened. We’re supposed to be working together here. Takingdown our walls and trying toheal.Soplease, don’t try and push me away because I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever.”